Wanderlust
by Throughthislens
Summary: Set Three years after New Moon. The Cullen family, sans Edward, is having a lazy afternoon watching YouTube videos when they stumble across a travel vlog that quickly leads to an obsession. The star of this blog? I'm sure you can guess. Rated M because this Bella is living her life. Eventual E/B.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This chapter has been updated since it's original posting.**

 **I got the idea for this story from watching Hasta Alaska videos on YouTube. If you haven't seen them they are amazing! Go watch.**

 **I don't own Twilight. Also, I do not have a Beta. I try, I really do.**

 **I am also using an iPad to type this up, so its slow**

 **Let me know if you are interested in this plot or not, it's a tad unique. I know.**

3 YEARS AFTER NEW MOON:

OCTOBER 28TH-NEW HAMPSHIRE

CULLEN RESIDENCE

RPOV

Our evening had started off relatively normal. We had just returned from an extended hunting trip to Canada that morning and the family was settling back into their normal routines.

Everyone except for Edward. He was off pouting in some desolate corner of the world, calling to check in sporadically.

While I wasn't exactly fond of Edward and his brooding mood swings, I was getting fed up with the constant melancholy that seemed to have attached itself to our family in his absence.

Esme was the most affected by Edward and his selfish decision to leave the family. While I understood her desire to have the family intact, I was baffled by the complete lack of attention we paid to the issue at hand.

 _That issue was Edward._

Edward was over a Hundred years old and fully capable of being held accountable for his own damn actions, if you asked me.

Of course nobody ever asked me my opinion on the matter. They were all too busy shuffling between feeling pity for Edward and mourning the loss of Bella.

It was as if some tragic accident had caused all of this, instead of my dimwitted brother and his juvenile actions.

Then again, I never really had an attachment to Bella the way my family did.

I didn't particularly like her, nor did I hate her.

Bella was always just... there. Following Edwards. Agreeing with Edward. Fawning over Edward.

She was far too willing to bend to Edward and his every whim, something that Edward was well accustomed to throughout his existence.

It really wasn't hard to see why he was gifted to read minds.

 _Why not? He already believed he knew everything anyways._

At first, I couldn't blame the poor human girl for taking the bait. It _was_ in our nature to disorient our potential prey, leaving them entirely witless and slow. Why should this human be any different?

Then more time passed and as Bella became more comfortable with the idea of becoming one of us, I began to see that Bella was far from stupid.

She was just incredibly naïve in many aspects.

Edward could be charming when he wanted to be, but he could also be calculating and manipulative. It was a skill that most of our kind naturally possessed. He just happened to be far more skilled at it than most.

Bella, young and blinded by love, was more than willing to ignore Edward and his deficiencies.

Edward, narcissistic and controlling, thrived until he slowly began to lose some of that control.

It was comical to watch as the puppet slowly became the master.

The lamb became the lion.

Edward's behavior began to change dramatically. His actions became less calculated and planned out. Instead, he became sloppy and careless.

He invited her into our home and allowed her to know the truth about us. He made himself a person of interest to the chief of police, a spectacle of himself at school. He drew attention to not only himself, but the family as well. These were all things Edward had actively tried to avoid before Bella.

 _Edward had lost his shit_.

In typical Edward fashion, he became unable to cope with his inability to control the direction of his relationship with Bella.

He spent hours analyzing and then reanalyzing even the most minute possibilities with Carlisle.

Carlisle always said the same thing.

"There is no logic when it comes to matters of the heart."

Edward just couldn't accept that answer.

"Wait Emmett, you skipped a video. We should be on number twelve." Jasper complained loudly from his spot on the loveseat next to me.

This was a regular occurrence in our house. Jasper preferred to properly watch videos in the order they are posted. Emmett, being more of a free spirit, preferred to jump from video to video. There was usually no rhyme or reason to his preference, usually whatever caught his eye.

"Relax dude, we can always go back and watch it next." Emmett shot Jasper an exasperated look.

"I wanted to see if they ever found that secret rock cliff with the heirogliphs!" Jasper complained.

"Fine! You take it then!" Emmett tossed the black Playstation controler towards Jaspers head.

Jasper caught the controler neatly, but he must have accidently pressed a button in the process, as the screen momentarily went black and then returned to the YouTube search menu.

"Don't be a dick Emmett! Why should we all suffer just because you lack the simple ability to count to twenty?" Jasper admonished.

"Suffer? I didn't hear anyone complaining except you." Emmett retorted.

"Someone just press play already!" I huffed in annoyance.

"Fine. But I'm going to the correct video this time." Jasper shot Emmett a pointed look as he began scrolling through videos with the joystick.

"Give me that!" I snatched the controler from his hands.

"Hey!" he whined.

"Alright, what were you watching again?" I ignored his protest.

"Video twelve!" Jasper repeated.

"Video twelve of what?" I motioned toward the screen.

"That one right there. The travel vlog." Emmett pointed to the video on the far right.

"You girl's are arguing over a travel vlog?" I said in disgust.

"Hey! This channel is awesome!" Jasper defended.

"It's about three guys who are travelling the world in a beat up bus." Emmett explained.

"Is it the magic school bus?" I deadpanned.

"You have to watch it to understand. They pick up all these other people who are traveling along the way..." Emmett began.

"...and they stop and explore all these cool sights and hidden beaches and stuff." Jasper finished.

"Wow, some of these videos are from over three years ago." I observed, while scrolling through the uploaded videos for the channel.

"Yeah, and they are still posting them up until today." Jasper pointed towards a video that had been posted only four hours previously.

"So these guys have been traveling all over the world for three years now?" Emmett questioned.

"Look's that way." I began scrolling left, towards the older videos for the channel.

I clicked on the channel description, trying to get a more detailed overview than what Emmett and Jasper had provided.

"Alright! Can somebody just go to the t _welfth_ video already!" Jasper threw his head back in frustration.

"Alright, you big baby!" I hastily exited out of the description and highlighted the correct video using the joystick on the controller.

"Video t _welve_!" I pressed the "X" button on the controller hard enough to hear a slight crack from the cheap plastic.

"Thank you!" Jasper sniped.

We sat in front of the television for the next several hours, enthralled by the three Twenty-Something year old males who were traveling to different countries in their small bus. They met several different people, both locals and travelers alike. Jamie, Mark and Carlos all took turns filming the adventures, but Jamie was the main narrator for the channel. Sometimes the people they came across would stick around for several videos, catching a ride on the bus and pitching in for food and gas money in exchange. Sometimes they were just passing through. Some of the people they ran into also had travel blogs and websites of their own, and they would share bits and pieces of their own travels along the way. It was oddly fascinating to watch all of the different people come and go. They were also a very humorous bunch who had a very laid back attitude. Even when they were stuck in less than ideal situations, they still managed to remain lighthearted and fun. I was instantly sucked in.

"Man, look at that wave he just caught." Jasper whistled his appreciation.

We were watching video number Thirty-Seven. Jamie and the boys were currently surfing on a hidden beach in Southern California that the trio had hiked two days just to get to after their bus had broken down yet again. It gave me a whole new appriciation for being human.

The video ended with the trio sitting in their dilapidated bus, with Jaime facing into the camera.

"Alright guys, the beach was awesome and we caught some of the best waves we have ever seen. It was definitely worth the extra effort it took to get here. More importantly though, we also met these two gorgeous ladies who are also headed south..."

Jamie panned the camera around to face two girls who were sharing a small cooler as a chair. The girls waved into the camera lens with smiles on their faces.

They were only on camera for a few short seconds before Jamie panned the camera back around to face himself.

"Holy shit." I breathed out.

"Was that-?" Emmett trailed off.

"Bella?" I whispered.

There was a slight delay in our actions, due to being in shock.

Eventually we managed to regain our composure around the same time. All Three of us made a grab for the controller that had been laying abandoned on the coffee table in front of us.

"Rewind it back!" I shouted to nobody in particular, unable to focus on who had managed to get to the controller first.

"Alice!" Jasper was out of his seat and standing at the bottom of the stairs in a fraction of a second.

"Wait for Alice!" I reprimended Emmett, who had already began to rewind the video and was watching the Three second clip again.

"Alice! You have to come see this!" I joined Jasper in summoning her.

"What is going on?" Alice, who was not used to being taken by surprise, looked perplexed as she flew down the stairs.

"Sit down right here doll." Jasper directed her towards the sofa.

"Alright. Just watch. We rewound it back to the correct spot...just watch for a minute and you will see what we are talking about." Jasper explained.

"O...kay" she answered slowly.

"You ready?" Emmett asked.

"Press play!" the rest of us shouted.

"Geez." Emmett grumbled, but quickly pressed the button to resume playing the video.

We all watched as Jamie's face appeared on the screen again.

"...some of the best waves we have ever seen. It was definitely worth the extra effort it took to get here. More importantly though, we also met these Two gorgeous ladies who are also headed south..."..."

This time, we were prepaired for the sight of a slightly older and sun kissed Bella, smiling and waving at the camera.

"Pause it!"

"You see!" I turned to Alice expectantly.

She sat in shocked silence for what felt like forever, her eyes locked on the smiling brunette who looked so similar, yet so different from how we last saw her.

"Why didn't I _see_ this?." Alice whispered.

"See what Alice?" I asked.

"What about Edward?" Emmett sat up swiftly.

"He... he must never find out." Alice also stood.

"Do you all understand what I am saying? Edward must never find out about this!" Alice was in full out panic.

"Alright Alice. Calm down." Jasper tried to reassure his mate.

"No. You don't understand. Edward doesn't even want me looking into her future anymore. Can you imagine if he finds out we are all stalking her via YouTube?" Alice cried out.

"Stalking her? Alice... it was a three second clip. I would hardly constitute that as stalking." I defended.

Alice looked away guiltily.

"What...what are you not telling us Alice? What have you seen..."

"There's more." Alice whispered.

"More what?" Emmett asked.

"That video was posted t _wo years_ ago Emmett. This channel has over a million subscribers and over Four-Hundred videos!" I clarified, my brain running wild with this new realization.

"Are you saying..." Jasper trailed off.

There was a brief moment of silence before the room broke out into total mayhem.

"Give me that controller!" I could hear Jasper demand as I turned swiftly towards the kitchen.

"No!" Emmett made a run for the stairs as I hurridly made my way to the dining room table to find my iPad.

"Fine! But don't say I didn't warn you all!" Alice was already on her cell phone. I could see the familiar red and white logo of the YouTube application as she sprinted quickly up the stairs.

"Hypocrite!" I called after her.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I don't own Twilight. This chapter has been updated since it's original posting.**

 **These first chapters are going to be shorter while I set a few key points up, but after that I promise they will get a bit longer. Also, I will be switching between the Cullens who are catching up on all of Bella's travels she has had this far, and Bella, who has already experienced them and is on to something else. I will try to not make the time jumping too confusing, but just try to keep that in mind. I have decided to number the Vlog post's, so that everyone has a point of reference to go off of.**

 **October 24th**

 **Random Beach-Somewhere near Tulum Mexico.**

Time Traveling Mind:

Shape shifting images

of a time traveling mind

flying through the sky in the blink of an eye.

Not knowing

the year or the time

as I travel through

the centuries of my mind

One day I will find

piece of mind.

~Dave Alan Walker

It was times like this that I really had to question my sanity. Broken down on the side of the road in a foreign country, with miles untill the next town.

What the fuck was I thinking?

The truth is, I really wasn't thinking when I started off on this journey over Two years ago. I didn't have a plan or a destination. I didn't know the first thing about backpacking or hiking or even camping for that matter. I just knew I couldn't continue living the way I was. To use the term _living_ was a bit of a stretch to be honest, but you get the point.

Some days, when I really sat back and took the time to analyze my life, it almost felt as if it wasn't even mine. Some days I feel _too_ alive. There are times I get so swept up in the beauty of the terrain I travel or the waters I get to swim in and it causes the empty parts of my soul to break wide open with the realization of his continued absence. He was beautiful in every sense of the word. How could I not see a piece of him in every mile of pristine white sand, every drop of crystalline water that fills the ancient cenotes I have swam in.

Ancient.

These landmarks and structures that were here before he ever existed, they will decay and fall apart long before he ever does.

They will be no more, while he will remain.

Unchanged.

Forever.

It is a bazar realization to come to terms with.

Have you ever stood in the tide of a sapphire blue ocean and stared into the never ending horizon of perfect uninterrupted sky, only to realized just how small you truely are? Have you ever been so amazed by something or so enraptured by its beauty that it sweeps you off of your feet and takes your breath away? That was how he made me feel. That is why I am unable to stay in one place for long, always chasing the next big adventure.

I am a mobile, forever moving and changing.

He is stationary. A boulder, heavy and unwavering in my way.

I am the collector of fine pieces of art. I marvel at the unique, the rare, the unimaginable. I have seen some of the most beautiful places this planet has to offer, and while they steal my breath away, they have nothing on the beautiful creature who once stole my heart.

So I continue searching.

I continue existing.

 _Living_.

Chasing a ghost of a feeling that I know only he can bring, yet refusing to let that define the person I have become.

I have lost and I have gained. Some days I don't know if I am rich or poor. I guess it depends on how you choose to look at things.

I gaze out towards the setting sun from my spot on the beach. Jamie and the boys where up on the road, trying to find the most recent malfunction with Jamie's bus. I didn't always travel with their group, I preffered to backpack most of the time, but I occassionally ran into them somewhere on my journey and they were always great about letting me hitch a ride whenever I needed. I was currently trying to make my way back North, and I was in a hurry at that. I only had Two weeks to get back in the States to renew my visa. The boys were also headed to the States, a breif stop on their way to Canada.

I sat up my camera and began filming the terrain, trying to get some scenic shots of our current predicument. I could edit from my laptop and upload my next Vlog entry once we had access to the internet. This was the Fifth time the bus had given up on is in as many days. I couldn't help but wonder if I needed to start thinking of a plan B, at this point I had a feeling the bus wasn't going to be making very good time.

 **Vlog #472** -

 _"Hey viewers, Bella here. So this is just a quick update. I haven't had much time to edit and upload anything from the past week, but I wanted to check in and show you where I am at right now."_ I tilt my camera around to show the viewers my surroundings.

 _"That's right. I'm at the airport. Im heading back to the states to sort out my Visa, but not for long, I promise. It's been almost Two and half years since I have been home so I will be using this time to get prepaired for the next adventure. But don't worry travelers, there is definitely more adventures to come. I hope I will see you guy's soon!"_ I waved my goodbye and turned the camera off.

Taking advantage of the free Wifi at the airport, I quickly uploaded the video and replied to a slew of comments and emails that had been going unanswered for too long.

Running a YouTube channel was extremly challenging when you spent most of your time off the grid, miles away from internet access and running water.

I waded through the numerous raunchy comments from perverts commenting on my rack and ass, and responded to the comment's that had some sort of sustinence to them. The comment section was depressingly leaning towards X-rated these days. It was the main reason I had a hard time telling Charlie about the Vlog to begin with. What father wants to be subjected to that?

In the end , all of my worrying was moot. Some kind townsfolk had let the cat out of the bag and Charlie was subjected regaurdless.

He never brought up the comment section, and I wasn't about to either. That was the way Charlie and I always operated. Less is more in these situations.

My flight was announced as ready to board. I packed up my laptop and took one final look out of the large windows of the airport. My last look at foreign land for a while. I knew It was time to move on to bigger and better adventues, but I still felt a sense of loss for the beautiful country I had been calling home for over a year now.

It was a feeling I had gotten very used to.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I don't own Twilight. This chapter has been updated since it's original posting.**

 **I also have been trying very very hard to proof read these before I post... sorry for whatever errors you find.**

 **November 3rd- New Hampshire**

 **Cullen Residence**

 **APOV**

I have had the ability to see into the future for as long as I can remember. My visions have always given me an advantage, as well as a means to protect myself and my family. The future is always changing, shifting with each choice that people make. I have learned that the more people who are involved, the harder it is for me to read the possible outcomes.

This was a problem where Bella was concerned.

Bella's life was entangled and interwoven with so many other peoples. People who I didn't know or understand. People I had no reference to go off of. How could I search the future if it was a stranger who was making the decisions that altered it? She was hard for me to peg down and even harder to decipher. There were brief moments of clarity in some of my visions. They flickered in and out throughout the years. It took me a while to figure out that these visions were made clearer when Edward was faltering, reconsidering his choice to leave her behind. While this did not allow for a clear enough picture for me to know with any certainty what was in store for the future, it did tell me two very important things.

Firstly, Edward was still a very definite factor in Bella's life. Enough for _his_ decisions to bring _her_ into higher definition.

Second, Edward was never going to be able to stay away from her, no matter how hard he tried. The more time that passed, the more frequently she made an appearance in my visions.

Edward said he needed to live separate from the family because he needed time.

The family thought it was because he couldn't stand to be in a house full of mated couples.

I felt my visions were largely to blame for his departure. I couldn't keep the visions from coming, regardless of his constant plea for me to do so. The more he faltered, the more he had to acknowledge the visions and come to terms with the inevitable.

 _He was going to fail_.

I tried numerous times to show him it was a moot point, that he was wasting valuable time. I told him he needed to come to terms with the truth before he was too late or too much damage had been done.

 _Edward never listened to anything he didn't want to hear._

He had already left the family by the time Bella graduated from high school. It was around that time that the visions had started to dwindle significantly. Until slowly but surely, they withered away to nothing at all.

At first I believed that Edward must have finally found peace with his decision, but he still had not returned home. It was during one of his rare visits that he picked the question out of mind.

'Don't you still think about returning to her?' I had wondered.

The errant thought had taken him off guard, his carefully crafted mask had slipped away for only a brief moment.

The fear and sadness in his eyes had told me everything I needed to know.

 _Yes_. He was still warring with the decision to go find her or not.

It was Bella who had changed course this time.

Something had happened to make her even less visible, less interwoven with Edward and his future.

 _Edward abruptly stopped visiting after that._

I was currently making my way through every YouTube video that starred or futured Bella in anyway. I was searching for some tenuous link that would allow me to get a better grasp on her future. While I knew Edward was going to be upset when he discovered the truth of our disregard for his wishes, I couldn't bring myself to feel guilty about my family's new favorite pass time.

We were having too much fun breaking Edward's carefully constructed rules regarding Bella.

Edward never considered the other people who were suffering with the loss of Bella. He always thought of her as solely _his._

He failed to see that over the course of their relationship, Bella had also become _ours_.

Our friend, our sister, our daughter.

Watching Bella's Vlog was akin to meeting her all over again.

She was so free and full of life and energy. She had grown immensely from the shadow of a person I once knew and loved as a sister and friend.

It felt a pang of both overwhelming pride and sadness for the girl who had turned into a bright and colorful woman in front of the camera, for the world to see. The Bella I had known was always afraid of being seen. She hid behind baggy hoodies and paperback books. This Bella was not searching to be the center of attention, but she also wasn't hiding from it either. She simply seemed to not care either way. There was something refreshing about watching someone be so real and authentic. She didn't hide behind her flaws, she showcased them for her viewers to see. She laughed at her own shortcomings. She was unapologetically imperfect. It made her endearing to many people, that much was obvious by the amount people who subscribed and watched her videos.

It also seemed to lead to a slightly larger uptick in the amount of raunchy comments that were left for her in the comment section. Bella had always been pretty, don't get me wrong... but the Bella in these videos was tan and toned from a very active lifestyle. She spent most of her time in the warmer areas of South America and the Yucatan Peninsula. She also seemed to have a confidence about her that exuded from the inside out. While she did indeed have some moments that were sexual in nature, it was usually in a joking manner, instead of an outward display of sexual grandiose.

It probably didn't help that she also chose to wear a bathing suit most of the time. I wasn't talking about a practical One piece either. She also seemed to be much more _open_ with her sexuality in general, and she didn't seem to shy away from the male sex. She often joked around with them as if she were just one of the guys. They certainly didn't shy away from her.

The current video I was watching was a perfect example. Bella and a group of nomad surfers had met up at a hotsprings of sorts, where she had ran into a familiar face. His name was Santino and he had apparently traveled from Argentina with them on a previous trip. Santino was a very good looking guy I suppose, and Bella seemed to like him enough to "share a tent" with him. What really struck me as odd was the fact that this guy had stuck around for almost Four months worth of travels and then eventually they came to a fork in the road. Bella was going one way and he was going another.

The video where she sends Santino off on a final fairwell is sad to watch, not because Bella seems heartbroken or devastated, but because she seems to expect it.

 **Vlog #115**

 _"That's the way of the traveler, we are all on our own journey and if we are lucky enough, sometimes we get to share parts of it with some really amazing people. While it's hard to say goodbye, I will forever be grateful for the time I got to spend with Santino."_ Bella had said.

The comment section was full of people who were rooting for Bella and Santino, and were hoping their reunion would last longer.

 **-This is the saddest thing ever! Bella and Santino were so perfect together. I literally cried while watching this.**

 **-Why is she just letting him get away again?**

 **-I get the feeling Santino will be back. Bella and him are meant to be together.**

 **-No! you totally just killed me. Dead. Go after him Bella!**

It was a few videos after that one that I discovered Santino also had a Vlog channel of his own. I had been watching copious amounts of YouTube lately, to say the least.

 **Vlog # 129**

 _"Alright, so I promised you guys a Q &A, and your going to get a Q&A! Mind you...I reserve the right to refuse to answer any question that I view as inappropriate or just plain stupid. Got it?" _

_"Sarah in Albuquerque asked if my parents were alright with me traveling..."_ Bella pursed her lips thoughtfully.

 _"My mother is a... bit of a free spirit herself. Me and her actually went on quite a few road trips in my teenage years. She was a little worried when I told her I was headed to South America, because of the notion that it's not safe down here, but I do check in every so often and she is a frequent follower of the Vlog as well...I'm sure you all have seen some of her more...colorful commentary below."_ Bella pointed downwards.

 _"Now, as for my Father... he was less than happy about my desire to travel at first. Mostly for all of the obvious reasons: Not going to college, safety concerns, all of that good stuff. He eventually came around though, and he too follows the Vlog pretty regularly, although he is ...far less vocal ...or opinionated than my mother. Hi mom!" Bella smirked._

 _"Mathew in Bolder wants to know how I can afford to travel and not work. This is a question I get asked frequently. Firstly, I don't spend a lot of money when I 'm traveling. I mostly eat really cheap stuff and sometimes we live off of the land. I have climbed mango trees, fished in the ocean, dugg for clams. You name it. It's also far less expensive to travel when you are not having to pay for room and board. Most of the places we choose to sleep down here are free beaches and quiet roads. That's usually why I try to travel with the bus crew or someone with a van during the rainy season, because it's no fun being in a torrential downpour in nothing but a tent."_ Bella had inserted a short clip of her huddled under a tree, trying to escape a huge downpour, for comedic relief.

 _"These next questions I am only answering because I am hoping it will tamper down the constant curiosity and slew of questions I get about my sex life. Thats right, let's talk about sex folks!"_ Bella gave the camera a sultry smile.

 _"Disclosure to my parentals, if you are watching this video... feel free to skip to the next one riiiiight about now."_ she wrinkled her nose before continuing on.

 _"Everyone else who is not my parent, brace yourself for this shocking revelation...I, Bella Swan, am not a virgin. I am also not married, not a lesbian, I don't sleep with people for money. I don't record my private sexual moments. I don't have friends with benifits. I have never slept with any of the guys in the bus crew, I mean... sexually anyways. I have shared a bed or a tent with them but I have never had any sexual relations with those men!"_ Bella wagged her finger towards the camera, as if she were scolding a naughty child.

 _"I don't sleep with every guy I travel with. Or share a bed with. Or swim with. Or eat with."_

 _"Guys. I liked Santino. I liked Mav. I really did. Did I love them? Sure, I love a lot of the people I travel with. When you are spending time with these people and getting to know them and having deep conversations without any outside distractions, its inevitable to form some bonds with people. They become like a second family to you. The nice part is that we all do keep in contact with eachother via our Vlogs or social media or email. I can't even tell you how amazing it is to know I have friends all over the world. I enjoy sharing all of these interactions and characters with you, for as long or as short as their stay is in my journey. The truth is that we are all wanderers, headed to different places. Sometimes these places overlap and we get the opportunity to experience parts of it together, or in a group. In the end though, paths split and diverge and if we meet up again later on down the road, then thats wonderful. I would never ask anyone else to diverge from their path for my benefit and I know the people I call friends would never ask me to diverge from mine."_

 _"As far as my clothing, I wear what is convienent. I spend a lot of time in extremely hot and humid weather and anyone who has watched my Vlog knows I am also in the water all the time. I surf, I snorkel, I dive, I bath. Ocean, pond, lake, cenote, whatever it may be. I am also working with very limited space and bathing suite's and board shorts are easy to pack around and do not take up a lot of space. Everything has a purpose when your traveling in a foreign country with very little space."_

 _"The next question is from Amy Daniels from Alberta, Canada. She asked what my next adventure will be when I am done with South America and Mexico. That is a very good question and one I am still trying to peg down. Europe? Asia? I don't know yet... I guess I will follow my heart when the time comes."_

I am distracted by a slight tap on my bedroom door.

"Come in." I say, while pausing the video.

"First of all, how far have you gotten? I don't want to give away any spoilers." Rose sashays into my bedroom.

"Spoilers Rose? This isn't a reality show." I roll my eyes.

"It kind of is, it's Bella's reality." Rose raises one sculpted eyebrow.

"Alright. I already know what you are going to say Rose and I am telling you absolutely not." I sat up hastily from my spot on the bed.

"Come on Alice! It is the push he needs! I want my family back together. I know me and Edward have had our differences, especially when it came to Bella... but this could be what he needs to finally pull his arrogant moronic head out of his ass!" she growled.

"You think I haven't though of it? Of telling him? It would be so easy to just send him a link to the Vlog and let him take it from there. The issue is that it will only send him into a tailspin!" I sigh in frustration.

"Right now, Edward thinks Bella is probably enrolled in some college studying American Literature." I explain.

"Right, and he is incredibly wrong isn't he? I mean he couldn't be _more_ wrong. I have to tell you...I have a whole new respect and appreciation for Bella after this..." Rose rambled on.

"Your happy because she is proving him wrong? That's why you're so happy about this Rose?" I know Rose can be vain and shallow, but even this is a whole new level of low for her.

"Hell yes I am!" she doesn't even look ashamed about this confession.

"That smug bastard has been walking around for a century thinking he knows everything because he can read minds. _I_ think it's just what he needed. Someone to knock him down a peg or two! Just look at what he did with Bella for instance, hmm?" She motioned at nothing in particular.

"You think he even thought about giving her a choice in the matter of him staying or leaving? Of course he didn't. Because _why_ would Edward ever give someone a choice when he knows what is best? I love Edward as a brother, I do. I can even understand why he feels that Bella needed to live a human life without our interference. But once again he skipped the key part of involving _other people_ or asking for _our_ opinion. Even _Bella's_ opinion!... and she was _half_ of the equation in the Bella and Edward love fest!" Rose was practically screaming towards the end of her rant.

I simply stared at her, slightly perturbed by the amount of rage she apparently kept bottled up regarding Bella and Edward.

"Alice, I love you too. But you are an enabeler." Rose said more calmly.

"Damn straight." I could hear Emmett comment from his place on the couch downstairs.

"Maybe this is a subject we need to put up for vote?" Carlisle appeared in my doorway, along with Esme.

"What's to vote on?" I huffed indignantly.

"Alice, Edward has always had a way of..." Carlisle trailed off, always searching for a diplomatic way to state his opinion.

"Being an asshole!" Rose deadpanned.

"Rose.. I wouldn't put it that way.. it's just that with Edward and his gift..."

"He's a total know it all" Jasper supplied.

"Well yes, he does have a tendency to..." Esme began.

"Disreguard anyone else's feeling because he is a know- it- all- asshole?" Rose folded her arms in front of her.

"Now I wouldn't say that Edward doesn't care about people or their feeling's, quite the opposite actually. I believe his behavior comes from a place of trying to _protect_ peoples feelings, keep them from being hurt." Carlisle defended.

"Right... because that's exactly what happened when Edward decided we would all just up and move from our comfortable life in Forks. Nobody's feelings were hurt in that process and we have _all_ just been living merrily since that decision was made!" Rose snarked.

"What really astound's me about Edward is that out of all of us... _he_ is the one that is suffering the most and yet he has decided to stay on this course. If I didn't think he was such a fool, I would admire his ability to..."

"Be a total and complete asshole!" Rose cut Jasper off.

"Rose is right! Why should we all suffer because Edward has a need to enforce his gigantic ego!"

"Whatever do you mean by that Emmett?" Esme looked confused.

"Oh come on! He knew from that first day we left. He knew he had made a mistake by leaving her. He just didn't want to admit it to himself that he had in fact made a mistake and he certainly didn't want to admit it to us." Emmett had decided to join us in my now very crowded bedroom.

"I feel this is very cathartic for us to discuss, why have we not discussed it until now?" Jasper made a random observation.

"Look..." Carlisle ignored Jaspers commentary.

"...I agree that Edward made a mistake and that he knows he made a mistake. I do not think this is entirely motivated by his ego.. or a need to be right. Edward is a lot of things but he is not nearly as arrogant and self centered as Rose would like to say." he shot Rose a fatherly look of admonishment.

"Exactly! I agree. Don't any of you see?" Rose said with excitement.

"No. What are you talking about?" I was begining to get more confused by the moment.

"The only thing that has kept Edward from running back to Bella with his tail tucked between his legs is the fact that he thinks...and I mean truely believes... that Bella is living in a dorm room in some ivy league college and studying sappy English-Lit books while secretly pining away for him!"

"I'm not following..." Carlisle shook his head.

"Yeah, I was totally on board in the begining and now I am lost..." Emmet added.

"Edward may be noble...but nobody is _that_ noble. How would you all feel if _your_ mate was off enjoying life without you and fucking every hot piece of meat that crossed their path while every pervert on the internet jacked off to it from their mothers basements!" Rose spouted.

"Rose!" Esme exclaimed,

"Sorry Esme, but it's true. It would be much more easier for me to stay away from Emmett if I had no reason to believe that he would ever be able to move on without me." Rose didn't sound very apologetic at all.

"I see. So you are saying that Edward needs to be... motivated?" Carlisle seemed to be processing this information.

"Exactly." Rose smiled.

"That shouldn't be hard either... Bella got _Hot_!" Emmett whistled.

"Emmett!" Esme was getting more exasperated by the moment.

"Alright. Who here agrees with this...observation Rose has made?" Carlisle pinched the bridge of his nose.

I could already see the decision was made, I just couldn't see any clear outcomes yet.

"Fine." I conceded.

"But if this go's bad..." I trailed off.

"How much worse could it get than it already is Alice?" Emmett huffed.

"Im just..I worry for Edward. I worry that Bella... she won't take him back." I whispered.

"Well, so... I guess we will be in the same predicament we are in now. Big deal." Rose shrugged her shoulders.

"Alice. We need to have faith that it will all work out. I want my family back together. I'm so tired of living this way. I want Edward to come home, preferably with Bella." Esme squeezed my hand in her motherly way.

"Alright. so... how are we going to do this?" I took an unnessesary deep breath.

"Text. Send him a link to the channel." Emmett pulled out his cell phone.

"No!" I shouted. I had already debated that route earlier and the possible outcome was far from ideal.

"That won't work in our favor. If we send him the link he won't come home. At least, not for a while." I explained.

"Okay... how about a picture then?

"As long as there isn't a link or an identifyer to where he can find more video or more photos, that will work." I conceded, after seeing no other way.

"Perfect. How about this one?" Rose turns her phone to show me a topless Bella covering her chest with one arm while she took a selfy with a couple of girls and one of the boys from the travel bus. I remembered that particular video. They were at a topless beach in Brazil.

"No. A little too much. We need one of just Bella, and preferable with more clothing." I gave Rose a withering stare. She was enjoying this a little too much.

In the end we decided on a photo of Bella on a prestine white beach in Cancun Mexico, wearing nothing but a tiny Two piece swimsuit while sitting on her surfboard, waiting for a wave. It was taken from behind her, with her back facing the camera as the sun was begining to sink lower into the sky. A golden glow illuminated the red in her hair and cast a slight halo around her entire body. She had her head turned so she was looking over her shoulder, into the camera, with a mischievous smile on her face. It was sexy, but not raunchy, and it left enough to the imagination to have Edward calling my phone in seconds.

About Five seconds to be exact.

 **Incoming Call**

 **Edward**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I don't own Twilight.**

 **November 3rd- Forks Washington**

It was strange being back on American soil. Just the ability to drink the water was a culture shock. American houses had lawns and garages and windows and paint. Everything was so clean. _Too_ clean.

When Charlie picked me up from the airport in Seattle I was wearing a pair of cut of sweatpants and a light hoodie that I had acquired in Baja Mexico, at the begining of my adventure. It wasn't exactly the warmest outfit, especially for Seattle in November.

"Forget your not in Mexico?" Charlie asked as he eyed my choice in clothing speculatively.

"No. I will admit to forgeting just _how_ cold it is here, but I ditched all of my warmer clothing ages ago and this is the best I could do." I answered as I buckled myself into the cruiser.

"It's nice to see you Bells, not that I don't enjoy watching those videos you post online, but it's good to have you here."

"It's good to see you too dad." I smiled.

"So how long you gonna be around for? Christmas? You know your mom is going to want to be seeing you too." he gave me an expectant look out of the corner of his eye.

"Yeah, I don't know how long yet, but I will make a point of seeing Mom before I head off." I promised.

"Well... it would be nice to have you around for the holiday at any rate. Sue makes a great turkey dinner, and her kids are around your age, so you wouldn't have to spent the whole day being bored out of your mind."

"Char..Dad. I wouldn't be bored spending time with you." I playfully pinched his shoulder.

"Well, I know it's just... you get to meet all these interesting people from all over the world and go on these grand adventures into unknown lands and I just don't want you to be so bored in tiny old Forks that you never want to come back to see me again."

"Dad. It's not even like that. I love Forks. I'm actually really excited to explore a little closer to home, maybe go on a summit trip to Mount Raineer or something." I tried to appease him.

"You got to be careful out there on those mountains though Bella..." he paused momentarily.

"...well, I guess you already know all about being safe in those situations though don't you?" he grunted out.

"Yeah, I mean once you bushwack your way through one jungle... you've pretty much done it all." I joked.

"I didn't mean to..." Charlie began to backtrack.

"No. Dad. It's fine. I understand your concern. It's your job. And...I promise to be careful." I tried to give him a reassuring smile.

"Alright then." he nodded.

"So. They got any grizzly's down there in Guatemala?" he gave me a boyish grin.

"Not exactly... they have tarantula's the size of grizzly's though." I shuttered in mock disgust.

"Yeah. I, uh.. I saw that video." he awkwardly trailed off.

I could feel the mortification running through my veins.

"So.. catch any fish lately?" I quickly tried to change the subject from the video in question. I had forgotten about the circumstances in which that particular tarantula was found.

The rest of the drive to Forks was very quiet.

I spent my first week in Forks turning my old room into a makeshift office. I had some serious editing and posting I needed to do if I was going to continue making enough money to afford my travels.

I spent some time catching up with anyone I could in between creating new content and keeping my viewers in the loop. I was only in Forks for a little over a week when I started getting the itch to explore again. It wasn't until I made a trip out to First Beach that I truely understood the gem that I had left behind. It was a shame that I had all of this unexplored beauty at my fingertips and I had taken it for granted.

I resolved to remidy that immediately.

The best thing about being a traveling nomad was how quickly your plans could change. You were free to do whatever your heart desired. After catching up with Jake for a while, he offered his knowledge as a part time tour guide, and asked if I was interested in hiking up to Rainier Summit in the Spring. I readily agreed.

I had been editing a particularly funny clip of me and Shandee, a fellow traveler from the UK. We had been trying to find an appropriate place to relieve ourselves on the side of the road. I managed just fine, but Shandee had the unfortunate luck of dropping trow just as a gang of locals came up from the beach. The looks on their faces were enough to set me off into a fit of racious laughter.

"Bells?" Charlie knocked on my door, fearing for my sanity, I am sure.

"Come in!" I called, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Everything okay in here?" Charlie looked around suspiciously, giving my half empty wine bottle a quick glance.

"Yeah Dad, I was just editing this clip..." I trailed off.

"Did you need something?" I asked a very worried looking Charlie.

"Your not smoking pot are you Bella?" he took a step farther into the room, his hands resting on his hip's, the quintessential cop move.

The unexpected question, along with his serious posture and tone, set me into another fit of completely uncontrollable giggles . Surely, this was not helping Charlie's suspicions.

"Oh. God...Dad...no." I wheezed out.

"Well, I know it's legal in some places down there and all...and I know your an adult...old enough to make your own choices.." he scratched the back of his neck, a sign of his discomfort with the topic at hand.

"Dad! Pot is legal _here_ now too." I stated factually.

His frown deepened.

"Not that I'm smoking pot.. cause I'm not." I quickly began backtracking.

This was not going well at all. I may as well be stoned for all the tact I managed to put into this conversation.

Maybe I had too much wine in my system. Maybe it was the air in Washington not agreeing with me. I usually had a much higher tolerance for alocohol than just Two small glasses.

"Alright then." he nodded gruffly.

"Well, you got a visitor downstairs. Some hippy looking guy who says his name is _Maverick_." he rocked back on his feet, looking rather uncomfortable.

"Oh yeah! I uh... I gave him my address and told him to look me up if we were ever in the same place." It was my turn to feel awkward now.

"Alright then. Uh...well he's waiting downstairs for you." Charlie didn't budge from his spot in my doorway.

"Right. Okay." I nodded.

"Bella, I know your an adult..." he began again.

"Look Dad, we don't need to have this conversation. I wasn't planning on bringing him up here alright." I tried to cut this conversation off before it reached a point of no return.

 _I really need to get a place of my own._

"Right. Okay then. I'll uh... keep him company."

"Kay. I'll be right down."

Charlie turned to leave, but not before muttering something about parents giving their children names like _Maverick._

I smiled to myself as I hastily threw a sweatshirt over my head and pulled my hair up in a messy bun. The thing I loved the most about my travel friends was their compete lack of vanity. It's hard to look runway ready when you haven't had a decent shower in months.

I glanced around as I made my way into the living room. Maverick was standing next to the fireplace mantle, nosily looking at my embarrassing childhood photos. Charlie was nowhere in site.

 _So much for making my guest feel comfortable._

"What brings you around to my neck of the woods...literally?" I bumped his shoulder.

"Shit!" Maverick jumped in surprise.

"I thought you were your father. That dude scares the shit out of me." he chuckled lightly while placing a framed photo of a Nine year old Bella back on the mantle.

Maverick wasn't his real name of course, his real name was Benjamin, but we nicknamed him Maverick for obvious reasons.

He was from Ireland originally and had a slight accent that still evaded to his heritage, even though it had been diluted over the last several years. He had grown up in a strict Catholic family and left home at Seventeen to travel the world. At just Twety-Five he had already stepped foot on every continent. He was one of the first friends I ever made outside of America, and the sole reason I knew how to speak pretty decent Gaelige.

He was also the first man I was ever romantic with after Edward.

"It's good to see you Mav!" I threw my arms around him.

"You too Bella! I was in the neighborhood... so to speak and I saw your last Vlog post. I figured what the hell right?" he shrugged.

Maverick was classically handsome. He stood a little over Six foot tall and had a slim, yet athletic build. His facial features were what originally caught my attention. Strong, chiseled and distinctly man. His eye's were a unique shade of green-blue that perfectly matched the Caribbean at high noon. He usually wore his strawberry blonde hair cropped shorter, but I could see a few stray locks poking out from under the slouchy beanie he wore on his head.

"Like what you see?" he gave me a cocky grin.

"Shut up!" I reached up to tug on his goatee.

"I was just admiring the new look. I never pictured you with facial hair before. You pull it off well." I motioned for him to take a seat on the sofa next to me.

"Yeah. I figured I would go all out mountain man. Tis' the region." he slung his arm across the back of the couch, resting just behind my head.

"Oh I see. So you come to Washington and become a lumberjack?" I tease.

"You came to Washington and became a... _civilian_." he wrinkled his nose, as if civilian were a dirty word.

"I guess I kind of did huh?" I pulled on my hoodie string.

"If this is you all dolled up for modern living, I'll take it." he laughed.

"Hey now! I'll have you know I clean up quite well. I just didn't know I would have anyone to impress." I nodded pointedly in his direction.

"Who? Me? Bella, I've been impressed from day One." he smirked.

"Your such a terrible flirt."

"Are you...blushing?" he leaned in closer, as if he couldn't believe it.

I licked my lips expectantly.

A throat cleared from behind the sofa.

"So uh...Maverick...what brings you to to these parts of the world?" Charlie sat down in his lazy boy, making himself comfortable.

I shot Maverick an apologetic look that probably came out as more of a grimace.

"Well, I figured it was about time I explore the Pacific Northwest, Bella here made it sound intriguing enough and I have a few friends that are making their way North from Oregon." he shrugged.

"So you...travel for a living then? Like Bella?" Charlie questioned.

"Yeah. I'm originally from Ireland actually. Caught the travel bug from an early age and ventured off when I turned Seventeen. Been traveling ever since."

"Ah. And how old are you exactly?" Charlie grunted.

"I'm Twenty-Five." he began to fidget with the strap on his boot.

"So you going on this trip that Bella and Jake are taking out to the summit this spring?" Charlie popped open his beer can.

I didn't fail to miss the not so subtle reference to Jake. I rolled my eye's in exasperation. Charlie had been hoping for more than a friendship between me and Jake for years now.

"Actually yeah, I was gonna bring something like that up." Maverick turned towards me.

"Your interested in going?" I questioned.

"Yeah. I mean, how often do you get that kind of an opportunity? Besides, I have a lot of exploring to do in the area in the meantime."

"Where at?" I tucked my leg's underneath me, getting more comfortable.

"Well.. mostly Oregon for now. We're traveling with a larger group. Shanah and Rian are with us too actually, they say 'Hi'." he glanced towards Charlie.

"Really? That's great! Maybe I'll make a trip down to visit this weekend." Charlie reached forward to the coffee table and picked up the remote.

"Yeah we would all love that. It's been a while since we've all been in the same place at the same time." he reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

Charlie cleared his throat.

"Dad, I don't know if you remember... but Maverick was actually apart of the original group I traveled down to Mexico with." I tried to incorporate Charlie back into the conversation.

"I remember." he grumbled.

Maverick pressed his lips together to stop from laughing.

I gave him a questioning look, not understanding what could possibly be so funny.

"What's so funny?" I whispered.

He shook his head from side to side, his shoulders shaking in silent laughter.

"I never would have guessed there were so many kids out there just traveling around." Charlie graced us with his charming conversation skills again.

"None of you have cell phones to keep in contact?" flipped the channel to a football game.

"Oh yeah, I've made a lot of friends throughout the years. Most of us don't have cell phones actually, its pointness to pay for a service you rarely get to use. " Maverick straightened his posture, removing his arm from the back of the couch.

"Hmm." Charlie murmured.

"Well yeah, plus that's one more electronic device you have to worry about keeping charged and out of the water." I added my two cents.

"I suppose." was Charlie's wordy reply.

"Well, I think I should head out for today. I have to make camp before it gets too late." Maverick hastily sat up.

"Where you camping at? I'll give you a ride." I volunteered.

His eye's widened, before glancing cautiously towards Charlie.

"Um. Well you are the resident expert...maybe you can show me a good spot?" he seemed anxious to leave.

"Let me grab my backpack." I handed him the keys to my ancient truck that Charlie kept in working condition.

"I'll warm it up." he turned towards the door.

"It was uh...nice meeting you sir." he raised his hand in an awkward guesture.

"Likewise." Charlie turned the volume up higher.

I grabbed a winter coat as well as some extra socks and toiletries and threw them in my backpack before hastily making my way back down the stairs.

"I'll probably be back in the morning. I'm going to help Mav set up camp and it may be too late to come back tonight." I explained to Charlie as I was throwing my coat on.

"Sure Bell's. Be safe out there." he didn't even bother to turn towards me.

 _I really needed to get a place of my own._

I woke up the next morning in Mav's tiny tent and pulled out my GoPro.

 **Vlog #487**

 _"Hey viewers, I just wanted to take a moment to update you guys on whats going on in my adventures. I made it back to the States without any issues and I am currently back home in the heavenly State of Washington. It's actually kind of strange to be back here and realize just how much unexplored territory I had left behind when I first started of towards South America. Viewers, I couldn't pass this opportunity up. Washington has some amazing Native American cultures as well as Volcanos, and a much colder, yet equality beautiful coastline with some amazing beaches. Which is why... I have decided to take a couple of shorter adventures here in Washington with some local friends..._

I adjusted my camera to fit me and Mav into the frame. It wasn't that difficult, as we were both bundled up in the same sleeping bag.

 _...as well as some familiar faces I'm sure you will be happy to see again._

Mav playfully nuzzled his beard into my neck, causing me to giggle.

 _...We are going to hit up some of the gorgeous scenery that Washington has to offer and do a little backpacking. So, for now, the plan is stay until early Summer and then head out to see the rest of the world. Stay tuned though, if you are interested in seeing some of what Washington State has to offer._

I didn't even bother to edit the short clip when I arrived home, I simply hit upload and went on with my day.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I don't own Twilight.**

 **This is a tiny chapter, but it will not fit in well with what I have coming up in the next chapter.**

 **I just want to say thank you so much to everyone who has shown interest and has taken the time to review and PM me. I am totally blown away by the responses I have gotten. It makes me want to work that much harder to give you guys more! I especially want to thank** _ **jansails**_ **for giving me some of the ideas for upcoming chapters. Thank you all! XOXO**

 **FYI- I am using an ipad to type all of this up, sans keyboard. It's like texting to the 100th degree. Sorry for any errors.**

 **November 3rd-**

 **New Hampshire- Cullen Residence.**

 **Emmett POV**

I had been watching a particularly hilarious video that involved Bella, some guy named Maverick, and a gigantic tarantula. Apparently they had been enjoying a rather quaint evening inside the bus when the tarantula made it's appearance and sent Bella running half naked onto the beach. It was one of the highest viewed videos and I was beginning to see exactly why.

This is what I had been doing before my Rose decided to light a fire under everyone's ass.

 _It's about damn time._

Edward was my brother and I loved him, don't get me wrong. He was also one of the smartest, yet _dumbest_ person I knew.

If I was Edward, I would have happily bitten Bella's ass a long time ago and moved on with it all. It's the only logical solution in all of this if you really stop to think about the possible outcomes.

Hell, I even halfway debated just biting her myself once, just to put us all out of our misery.

I was never really allowed to be alone in the same room with Bella after that.

That's the problem with Edward, just because he hears an errant thought in someone's head, he believes that he knows everything else there is to know as well. People have a whole variety of thought's that they would never really act on.

I'm not a mind reader, but even I know that.

I was actually quite baffled by his stupidity the day Edward came home and said we would all be leaving, without Bella.

 _What a fucking moron._

Bella had put up with a surprising amount of Edward's bullshit.

It wasn't all Edwards fault though. The guy had very little relationship experience and he had spent an entire century getting everything he wanted with very little resistance.

He wasn't prepared for Bella to come into his life.

Strange, I know, since he had more than a Hundred years to get his shit together before finding her.

Alas, Edward was a late bloomer.

I still felt sorry for the guy.

I couldn't imagine seeing Rose with another man, not without turning into a homicidal maniac.

Even thinking about another man laying a single finger on her caused my mouth to fill with venom and my muscles to coil.

It was instinctually engrained in us. Protect your mate at all cost. Even if it cost you your own life.

This had always baffled me the most about Edward leaving Bella.

Didn't it drive him crazy not being around her? I had to hand it to the guy, he was the most stubborn person I had ever met.

It had to take an immense amount of will power and self deprivation to fight off the instinctual pull we all feel towards our mate.

It's all said and done with now, and here we all sat, living with the repercussions of Edwards dumbest decision yet.

Except for Bella, apparently. She seem's to be doing better than all of us combined.

That girl gets more ass than a toilet seat.

"Emmett, what about this one." Jasper shoved a screenshot of Bella sitting on a surfboard in front of my face, interrupting my train of thought.

"Perfect! Hey Alice... what about this one right here.." I was getting impatient. I just wanted them to send a picture already.

Fortunately for me, it didn't take long for a unanimous vote to be cast.

Edward played right into our hand.

He really was too easy.

"Oh shit! It's Edward!" Alice stared at her phone like it was going to bite her.

"Answer it!" Rose hissed.

"What do I say?" Alice whined.

"Here. Give it to me." I stepped forward.

The phone stopped ringing.

"Well that's perfect, we missed the call!" Rose snatched the phone out of Alice's hand.

"Hey!" Alice complained.

The phone began to ring again.

"It's him" Rose smirked.

"Everyone shut up while I take this call." she shot everyone a glare before answering.

"Hello big brother." she answered sweetly.

"Rose." Edward replied.

We all held our breath, waiting to see what would happen.

"Can I speak to Alice please?" he asked.

"Alice is indisposed at the moment. May I take a message?" she continued to play the nonchalant card.

"I see. That's strange. She just sent me a message not too long ago." Edward replied.

"A message? You don't say.." Rose gave us all the thumbs up.

"Yes Rose! A very interesting message, I might add!" he was starting to lose his cool.

"Interesting? How so?"

"Interesting as in a photo of Bella straddling a surfboard in practically nothing!"

"My... that _does_ sound interesting."

"Cut the shit Rosalie and tell me where you got the picture!" he roared into the phone.

"Bingo." Jasper snickered.

"This photo... did it give you strange feelings Edward..it's okay if it did..." Carlisle snatched the phone from Rosalies hand.

"Edward. It's Carlisle."

"Carlisle."

"Son, I think it's best if you come home so we can discuss this matter further." Carlisle took on the fatherly tone.

"I'm not really interested in coming home right now Carlisle, I just had a few questions for Alice, can you put _her_ on the phone please?"

We all turned to stare at Alice.

"You see? Why does he want to speak to _you_ so badly? He knows you will cave to him Alice!" Rose whispered.

"I.. I cant speak to him right now." Alice looked down at her feet.

"Son, Alice is not coming to the phone. We have all mutually decided that we will not divulge any further information to you unless you come home immediately."

"Fine." Edward huffed.

The line went dead.

"That was too easy." Rose gloated.

"Yes, I agree. It _was_ far too easy." Carlisle looked worried.

"I think we need to come up with a gameplan for how we are going to deal with him when he get's here." Jasper went into planning mode.

"Jasper is right right, Edward will try to minipulate the situation to get what he wants. Plus...there's that pesky mind reading problem." I added.

"We need to all make sure we are watching our thoughts very carefully." Rose gave Alice a pointed look.

"I don't know why you looked at me. I am a master at keeping Edward out of my thoughts, it's Emmett you need to worry about. He has no filter and Edward knows that!" Alice turned on me.

"It's true. I'm shit at blocking him." I grimaced.

"Alright everyone. Now is not the time to start pointing fingers. We need to remain a united front or this isn't going to work." Esme tried to reason.

"Esme's right. We need a plan and we need to stick to it. Together." Carlisle placed his arms around Esme's shoulders in support.

"I say we make him hear us out before we give him any information about the Vlog." Jasper suggested.

"Yes, and we need to make sure that he doesn't catch wind of our plan. We need to make sure he think's we are not counting on him flipping his shit."

"I agree with Rose. He can't know that we want him to smarten up and go find Bella. We need to approach this as a supportive family who is just happy to see that Bella is doing so well." I contributed.

"Alright. So we are just incredibly happy to have found Bella safe and happy and enjoying life and we just want Edward to know so that he can stop punishing himself and come back home." Jasper clarified.

"Exactly." Rose smiled evily.

"Alice...how long untill he arrives?" Carlisle asked.

Alice took a moment to answer.

"Five to Six hours. He's on foot." she whispered.

"Alright. Everyone needs to get their game face on." Carlisle clapped enthusiastically.

"Has anyone gotten to Bella's more recent video's?" Rose asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... has anyone bothered to skip forward to her more recent uploads to see where she is at now?" she rolled her eyes.

"Well..no. I haven't gotten that far." Jasper shrugged.

"Well I did." Rose smiled.

"Spoiler alert! Spoiler Alert! I don't wanna know! Do not ruin it for me!" Jasper pointed an accusing finger at Rose.

"Fine." She huffed.

"Rose, there isn't anything we need to be worried about is there?" Carlisle inquired.

"Oh, theres nothing for _us_ to worry about. Edward on the other hand..." she smirked.

"Wonderful." Carlisle pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Carlisle, it will all work itself out." Esme patted his back.

"I just hope we made the right choice." he replied before walking out.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: I don't own Twilight.**

 **Um...WOW! I woke up this morning to a ton of new followers and reviews! You guys are amazing and I'm over here trying to figure out how to make sure I don't let you all down!**

 **FYI- I am using an ipad to type all of this up, sans keyboard. It's like...drunk texting to the 100th degree! On the plus side of things, I think I may have found someone who is willing to help me clean things up a bit. Yay!**

 **November 9th**

 **Cougar Rock- Washington.**

 **Bella**

It was cold.

I was kicking myself for not thinking this through. It's November for crying out loud! I had spent the better half of a day hiking through some incredibly gorgeous and incredibly _cold_ mountain trails. I usually wasn't this whiney when I was doing what I loved best.

Then again, I was usually in the middle of a rainforest, not climbing Mount Everest.

 _That was a tad dramatic._

With the sun swiftly sinking below the horizon, I decided to set up camp. The rest of the group would be hiking out in March to join up with me. I was hoping the next trip would be much warmer.

I wasn't planning on hiking entirely to the climb zone. I was just using this time to get familiar with the area and prepare for any additional supplies or tools we may need for the big outing come spring time.

This was really going to be my first long treck in colder climates. I was beginning to see that I was better suited for beaches and bushwacking.

The upside to this new terrain was the easy access to wood. I only had to scavange for less than ten minutes before finding enough wood to light a pretty decent sized fire.

Once I had camp set up, I made myself comfortable by the fire, admiring the night sky and drinking a scalding hot thermos of Cocoa.

This outing really could have waited until later in the season, but I was begining to go crazy in Forks. There was just too many memories of an entirely different life.

Hell, I was an entirely different girl. Sometimes when I allowed myself to really analyze that time in my life, it was like I was watching a bad movie.

I used to get angry.

Angry at Edward and the Cullens, but mostly at myself.

That girl in that movie was weak. Not because she was blood and bones and flesh. Not because she was soft and warm. She was weak because she had allowed herself to be weak. That girl would never zipline or parajump or rock climb. She didn't believe in herself enough to even play tennis.

That girl had her nose stuck in book's, reading about everyone else's adventures instead of having her own.

The only daring thing she ever did was fall for a man who spent his every second fearing a loss of control. Controling his bloodlust, controling his speed, his strength, our relationship.

 _Edward was a control freak._

I knew Edward like the back of my hand. I knew he left Forks because of some misplaced notion that he was being noble and doing the right thing for me. I also knew that while I used to think of myself as weak... Edward thought I was as fragile as cotton candy.

The woman sitting here today would have to disagree.

I would counter that out of the two of us, I was far stronger. I wasn't afraid of falling, or drowning or bleeding. Sharks existed and yet I still swam in their territory. Parachutes sometimes didn't open, and yet I still jumped. Poisonous snakes are everywhere in the jungle, but I still chose the scenic route with lush vegetation over the well beaten path.

Risk was something you had to take if you wanted to really _live_.

I took numerous risk's. I also spent a lot of time learning and practicing how to minimize those risk's.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't have a death wish. I had a _life_ wish.

I loved freely and deeply and without restraint. Some people would say I was _too_ free. I am aware that my Vlog may give the impression that I have a plethora of men who constantly come in and out of my life, but that isn't the case at all. I had only had a handfull of sexual partners in my life, and while that may seem like a lot for someone of my age, I had also experienced a lot more than most people who were old enough to be my grandparents. Sometimes I did kiss strangers, sometimes I got too drunk on life and lost my inhibitions. I didn't regret a single kiss. They helped make me who I am.

Edward was correct about one thing at least, he was dead.

How could you ever really be alive if you spent every second trying to stamp down the very things that made you feel alive?

While there was a huge piece of my heart and soul that would forever be linked to his, I had to keep moving. Keep exploring and _feeling_ and growing. Edward was weak, but I had learned to be strong, and I had found peace in that strength.

 **Vlog # 492**

 _"Hey viewers, Bella here. If you are wondering why I am being so quiet right now it is because I am currently camped out on a mountain cliff in the Pacific Northwest in the middle of November. Yes. You heard me correctly. No, I haven't lost my mind."_

I quickly panned the camera around to show the viewers the amazing scenery.

 _"...you see that view? It makes it all worth it."_ I continued

 _"The real reason I wanted to film right now though is up here on this ridge...I don't know if the camera is going to show it very well..."_

I turned the camera up towards the ridge and slowly zoomed in.

 _"...can you guys see that? That right there my friends... is a mountain lion."_ I whispered.

 _"...I don't think she's a threat, she hasn't gotten any closer even though she is more than capable of doing so. I think I have just peaked her curiosity. Just look at her...she's magnificent.. I just wanted to share this experience with you guys, because how often do you get to see a thing of beauty like that in their own natural habitat?"_ I smiled into the camera once more.

 _"...alright travelers, I'm going to sign off now and try to get some better photos of her to add to the blog for you guys. If you haven't had a chance to view the website and it's content, please do. I linked it below in the description. Until next time travelers."_ I waved before clicking the camera off.

I only managed to get a handful of good photos of my morning visitor before she eventually got bored and moved on to better things.

I decided to spend another evening on the mountain. It was cold but I needed to suck it up if I ever planned on visiting any of the Nordic countries.

 _Which I did._

I spent most of my day hiking and snapping photos for my website. It wasn't updated as frequently as the YouTube channel, because it took longer for the writing bug to inspire me than just turning on a camera. It was an excellent tool for cataloging all of my adventures in photo format.

Somewhere between eating my Fourth energy bar of the day and reactivating a new pack of handwarmers; I made a mental note to buy a book on edible vegetation in the Pacific Northwest. Dried eggs and granola bars were great, but it sure made life boring.

During my trip out of Cougar Rock, I ran into a group of backpackers who were just heading in.

Their names were Lucas and Amy. I stopped to chat with them for a moment about the trail conditions, as well as the weather.

They were far more experienced in cold climates, as they had just made their way back from a Six month trip throughout Alaska.

Amy recognized me from my Vlog and asked if she could get a few photo's with me. This part of my life was the part I had a difficult time understanding. I was just a regular person, and even though I had a very public channel on YouTube, I wasn't really interested in fame. Sometimes people recognized me and sometimes they didn't. I wasn't really famous, just familiar to a small group of people who shared the same hobby as me. I willingly allowed her to snap a few photos and we went our separate ways.

I had to set up camp halfway through my trip back to Forks, due to a sudden snowstorm. I made sure to find a good spot that was facing away from the bone chilling wind and huddled into my Antarctic sleeping bag. It was a cold night indeed.

I had never been happier to use a warm shower than I was the next evening when I returned home.

 _I was not cut out for cold weather traveling._

I quickly uploaded the Videos I had taken to YouTube, and wrote a short paragraph on my website to accompany the photos I had taken.

There was a massive uptick in subscribers and viewers for the channel, and I was slightly baffled by this.

I wasn't really posting as frequently or creating as much content as I had been when I was in South America.

I did notice that the questions people were posting were becoming increasingly personal as well. Maybe being in the States made people feel like I was more attainable? More...real?

I already had a plan to create a few videos that were geared towards travel tips and the like, a way to create more content during my downtime in Forks and connect with my viewers.

I always had a few comments from people who were wanting to try their hand at traveling as well. These comments were usually my favorite. I loved the idea that by me sharing my travels I was inspiring others to go out in the world and explore it's every corner.

"How was your trip?" Charlie asked me from across the table at dinner that evening.

"It was great. Cold though." I pretended to shiver.

"Yeah...your not in Mexico anymore Bells." Charlie smiled.

"I think I may need to read up on some material for colder climates and maybe buy some different gear as well." I nodded.

"You could always swing by Newtons. They have gear that's aimed more towards local trips." he suggested.

"I was planning on swinging by to see what they have tomorrow actually."

"Good. Maybe you could catch up with some of your old friends from school while your there." he took a drink from his beer.

"Maybe." I tried to smile, but I'm sure it came out as more of a grimace.

"What's so wrong with having normal friends?" Charlie must have seen my discomfort.

"My friends _are_ normal!" I scoffed.

"It's not normal to never lay down roots Bella. Everyone needs to have roots. A place to call home...and shower." he wrinkled his nose in distaste.

"We shower!" I defended.

"Not frequently enough if you ask me. That boy that stopped by last week... and who does that anyways? He ever heard of a phone?" he wiped his mustache with a napkin before continuing.

"You can't tell me you all hike around on foot across the country just to catch up with someone." Charlie ranted on.

I blushed. We had definitely done some catching up. Several times.

In fact I would venture that me and Mav had moved passed the catching up phase a while back.

"Oh. I see." Charlie looked down at his plate.

"You dating this boy then?" he looked up at me.

"Char...Dad. I am more than willing to have this conversation with you. As an adult woman, I feel no need to defend my choices. The question is if _you_ really want to hear the what I am about to tell you?" I folded my hands in front of me, in a very business-like manner.

"Er...no." he conceded.

"Alright then." I smiled triumphantly.

"It's just...hear me out Bella..." Charlie began again.

"Alright. I'm listening." I motioned for him to speak.

"How long do you plan on living this way? You ever think about settling down or buying a home?" he asked.

"I don't really see myself living that way in the immediate future. No." I shook my head.

"Why not? I mean...you could still travel from time to time. People do that you know. It's called a vacation"

"That's true, also not the point. I want to see the world Charlie. All of it. I can't do that with a Nine -to- Five job and Two weeks of vacation every year." I explained.

"A lot of folks want to see the world Bella. That doesn't mean they just leave society behind and become a nomad." he countered.

"I did." I shrugged.

"I though maybe this was just a phase, you know... like a trip you would take before you head off to college and get a degree."

"Dad, I'm sorry to disappoint you...but that would make me miserable. I would never be happy in that type of lifestyle." I explained.

"Bella. I'm not disappointed. That's not what I meant."

"Well...then what is it you want me to say?" I rocked back in my chair.

"I don't know Bells...I just...I worry about you."

"I know you do Dad." I smiled.

The topic was swiftly dropped after that.

"So your mom called while you were out. She want's you to visit her in Florida." Charlie broke the silence a moment later.

"I know." I sighed heavily.

"She misses you too Bella." he admonished me.

"I know. It's just that she can be so...exuberant." I searched for a kind way of saying it.

"Yeah." Charlie laughed quietly to himself.

"What's so funny?" I quirked a brow.

"Nothing. Just...I like some of the comments she writes on your videos." Charlie choked out.

"That's not funny Dad!" I tried to keep a stern look on my face but failed.

"Sorry. I know it's probably embarrassing for you."

"I've gotten used to it by now." I took a bite of my food.

"Really? I don't think I could ever get used to..."

"No! Not really. Have some mercy on me and drop the subject already!" I laughed.

"Alright. Alright." Charlie nodded in agreement.

"How's Sue doing by the way Dad?" I fired back.

"Er...good." Charlie put my blush to shame.

The next morning I found myself inside Newton Outfitters, looking at gear. I was trying on some new hiking boots when Mike Newton approached me.

"Hey Bella!" he greeted enthusiastically.

"Hi Mike. How have you been?" I answered politely.

"Good. Good." he shoved his hand's into his pockets.

"That's...good." I tried to smile.

"So uh... you in town for long or just passing through?" he asked.

"Just passing through." I lied.

"Oh yeah? So your not going to hang around for the holidays?" he looked disappointed.

"I am actually, but I have a bunch of side trips I'm taking in between. Busy schedule." I tried to cover my bases.

"Right. Yeah. I watched that video about Rainier..." he trailed off.

"Yup. That's the plan." I nodded awkwardly.

"Alright well...I'll let you get back to your shopping I guess."

"Nice to see you Mike." I returned to lacing up the boots I had on.

"You too Bella. See you around." he waved lightly.

I tried not to stay too long after that.

Thankfully, I had done quite a bit of research the evening before on what gear I would be needing. It didn't take me long to make my selections and pay for my goods.

"Hey Bells." Charlie called when I came into the front door with my arms loaded down.

"You want some help with that?" he asked as he greeted me at the door.

"No. I think I got it." I made my way up the stairs to deposit the goods.

I had just sat the bags on my bed when Charlie called up the stairs.

"Hey Bella, before I forget...you have a message on the answering machine! I'm headed out to Billy's."

Nobody ever left messages for Charlie at the house, too new school for his taste. He didn't even have an answering machine when I first moved in with him.

"Thanks Dad! Have fun." I called down.

I spent the next hour reorganizing my pack and making room for some of my new gear. I was about ready to tackle my ever expanding inbox when my stomach growled noisily.

Deciding to make myself a sandwich, I worked my way downstairs.

The red light blinked on the answering machine in the kitchen counter. I pressed play before opening the fridge.

There was a long pause and then a familiar voice filled my kitchen.

I froze in my tracks, the jar of mayonnaise slipping from my hands.

"Hey Bella. It's Alice. Alice Cullen? Um, if you could give me a call back that would be great. My number is..."

 _Alice Cullen?_


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: I don't own Twilight.**

 **I just wanted to take a moment to point out to the guest reviewer that it's a tad ironic to "slut shame" on a FF story. We all now why we are here reading and writing this... Am I right? ;)**

 **There are plenty of stories, great stories, that future a less worldy Bella who is sweet and virginal and while I do not consider this Bella to be a "slut" I fully understand there are different strokes for different folks..**

 **Moving along.**

 **I want to thank all of you amazing people who keep me motivated and excited to write this. You all are amazing and I never expected this kind of interest in this story. I just hit the "purchase" button on a keyboard that will connect to my ipad... I never had a need for one until now I guess.**

 **Now to the story...**

 **November 4th**

 **New Hampshire- Cullen Residence**

 **JPOV**

The last week in our household had been an interesting one, to say the least. When we weren't busy binge watching YouTube videos, we were busy arguing over the correct way to deal with this new revelation about Bella.

Or arguing about how we felt about Bella.

Or about a particular video of Bella's.

Or an outfit of Bella's.

Or Bella's safety.

Bella's boyfriends.

Bella.

 _Emotions were heightened, to say the least_.

I had a slightly unique viewpoint on the whole Bella situation. It techniqually was my _slip up_ that finally threw Edward over the deep end and prompted him to leave Bella in Forks.

I say _finally_ because Edward had been teetering on the edge of staying or leaving since the very first day he met Bella.

At first he said it was for her safety. Then he said it was the bloodlust. After that he said his inability to read her mind posed a threat. The final excuse was that _she_ was in danger just by being a part of our world. These are things he _said_.

Not _felt._

 _I can tell you how Edward truely felt._

Edward was scared. He spend his every moment living in fear. At first he was afraid of biting Bella or injuring Bella accidentally. That was understandable enough in the beginning.

Somewhere along the line Edward's fear was something that manifested within himself. Bella made Edward do things he had never done before. Things he deemed unwise or risky.

The Edward we all knew before Bella would never even consider climbing into someones window in the dead of night, sitting at a lunch table with a group of human children or even attempting to interact with them in anyway he couldn't avoid. Edward always made decisions using his mind, not his feelings. He wasn't used to being ruled by something as entirely foreign as love or attraction. He was losing control over his own actions and feelings and Edward never liked feeling out of control.

Edward was highly analytical to begin with, and definitely exhibited outward symptoms of OCD tendencies. I believe these issues were further heightened by the utter remorse he felt for the Ten year period he had spent feeding off of humans. The shame he associated with this time in his life was crushing.

It took Edward a great deal of effort and control to be able to go back to living off of animals alone. I believe he never really allowed himself to let go of that control, even years after he had proven his ability to abstain from human blood.

Or, in layman's term: Edward had a gigantic stick up his ass.

"Thank you, Dr. Freud, for that _enlightening_ diagnosis." Edward deadpanned from his spot on the sofa.

The rest of the family had "Gone out" for a while, leaving me alone to greet Edward once he arrived.

 _Cowards._

"Anytime brother." I smiled serenely.

"You left out irritable." he pulled out his phone to check the time.

I could feel the annoyance rolling off of him in waves.

" _Edwards is highly irritable and dislikes having his time wasted_." he mocked my inner dialogue.

"My bad. I'm still working on my PhD." I kicked my legs up on the coffee table, making myself comfortable.

I knew my laid back attitude was only going to annoy him more. This is why I was left here to deal with the inevitable shitstorm that is Edward when he doesn't get his way.

"So when can we expect the _rest_ of the Brady Bunch to arrive?" he drawled.

"I always thought we were more of an Addams Family, personally." I pretended to ponder.

Edward smirked cockily before leaning foward to make eye contact.

"Want to play a game Jasper?"

"Not really." I looked away from his calculating stare.

"Come on. Twenty-One questions. I'll start." he mussed up my hair playfully, as if I were a small child he was coaxing into a friendly game of cards.

I knew this Edward. There was nothing friendly about his actions.

"No thank you. I'm really not interested." I tried to keep my tone even and my body language relaxed.

"Come on Jasper. I thought you _liked_ to play games?" Edward chuckled lightly, throwing his arm over the back of the couch.

I remained silent.

I could feel the heavy buzz of something dangerous in the air around us. It hummed with a violent energy, boiling just under the surface of Edward's calm façade.

Even though his outward appearance remained open and friendly, Edward was reaching critical mass.

"Poor sport." Edward said after I refused to acknowledge him.

"Seen any good pictures lately Jasper?" he asked calmly.

My mind instantly went to the numerous photos of Bella we had been debating on sending him.

 _Shit_!

"You play dirty!" I objected while trying to think of something other than what he wanted me to.

His calm façade broke into a million shards of unrestrained rage in less than a second. I barely had time to register his swift movements before the glass coffee table met the far wall, leaving a gaping hole where it had made impact. I remained calm as the sound of broken glass meeting wood floor echoed throughout the house.

"Esme loved that table." I admonished, but turned my attention toward one of Rose' car restoration magazines, instead of paying him any more attention.

"Show me again." he began pacing back in forth in front of me.

"Look man, I think we should talk about this first..." I stood up from my spot on the sofa.

"Show me again!" he screamed this time.

"Look. We just wanted you to know that Bella is happy and..." This was spiraling downwards fast.

 _Where the fuck was everybody at?_

"Bella's happy?" Edward stopped pacing.

"Well yeah, so you can stop feeling so guilty and come back home now." I stuck to the agreed upon lines.

"Oh goody! I can come back home and pretend like everything's great now." Edward gave a false whoop of excitement.

"I mean...yeah." he threw his hands up in pretend celebration.

"...now that I've seen Bella riding some guys dick...everything is just great!" he screamed manically.

"Wow man, slow down. I never saw _that_ picture." I tried to lighten the mood.

"Well _thats_ comforting." he deadpanned.

"Lets just sit down and wait for everyone to get back." I said while fixing the sofa he had toppled over in his haste to destroy the coffee table.

He reluctantly sat down after a few moments of debating his options.

Time drags even slower when you are alone in a room with a mind reader. Especially when your main job was to keep that mind reader from...reading your mind.

"If it makes you feel any better... it was a Brazilian lap dance." the words practically fell out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"Excuse me?" he arched one brow, clearly confused.

"The uh, dickride...I mean the photo... it wasn't what it looked like." I tried to clarify.

He stared at me for several moments before finally answering.

"Brazil?" he cocked his head to the side.

 _Calculating Edward was back_.

"Yup, and that's all your getting out of me. I already overshared." I turned the T.V on to give us both a distraction.

"Oh yay. The Kardashians. I keep forgetting to keep up with them." Edward drawled.

"Hey! Don't knock my guilty pleasure! This show is a good way to unwind." I defended.

"If you ask me... you all could do with a bit of tightening up." Edward rolled his eyes.

"That's not what Bella said." I played the low hand.

I was expecting another temper tantrum, but instead he placed both of his hands behind his head, making himself at home.

"Interesting. had no idea you all had _such_ an interest in Bella." Edward smirked.

"That was before Bella got interesting." I waggled my eyebrows suggestively.

"Watch it Jasper." he warned lowly, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"Sorry brother. Couldn't help myself." I held my hands up in surrender.

"Your trying to wind me up." Edward observed.

I stayed silent, ignoring his new found revelation.

"Why?" he continued on.

"I don't know what your talking about." I shrugged, trying to look indifferent.

"Riiight." Edward dragged out the word.

After several minutes of tense silence, Edward finally turned towards me again.

"Sounds like the Addams family is on their way." Edward tapped his forhead with his index finger.

-Several hours later-

We all sat in the family room, waiting for Emmett to boot up the playstation and get the ball rolling.

"Emmett." Edward groaned loudly.

"Just shut up and enjoy." Rose snapped.

"I fail to see how movie night is going to help with my particular problem right now!"

"We are trying to help you out here Edward." Alice tried to explain.

"If you really wanted to help _Alice_ , you could start by switching to a different tactic to block me! I absolutely _loathed_ Eightees music when it _was_ the Eightees! I'm even less fond of it now!" he hissed.

"Edward, enough." Carlisle didn't even bother to put any effort into his admonishment. He had been trying to play peacekeeper for over Two hours now and his heart really wasn't in it anymore.

"Alright does anyone have any suggestions?" Emmett looked around the room.

"Tarantula!" I yelled out.

"The Q&A from after puru!" Rose suggested

"That blooper reel that Jamie created. I just loved that one." Esme smiled sweetly.

"Blooper reel as well." Carlisle agreed.

"I think the blooper reel will do beautifully" Alice nodded.

Edward looked entirely disinterested, drumming his fingers impatiently against the arm of the sofa.

Emmett pressed play and we watched as the opening graphic appeared on the screen.

Jamie's face came in to focus a moment later.

 _"So today we are saying goodbye to one of the most amazing people we have had the pleasure to travel with. I was going to do one of those sappy highlight videos with that Titanic song playing in the background, but that really just doesn't capture this amazine woman in all of her glory. So today...I give to you... 100% Bella. In all of her glory. Brace yourself... this is going to be one wild ride!"_

An upbeat song began to play as a slide show appeared on the screen of Bella and all her various injuries. A cut finger. A bandaged ankle. Bruised legs and scraped elbows. Several different pictures of Bella making faces at the camera. The photo's began to transition into short video clips after that.

 _"... Bella here is the mosquito's favorite snack. Show them your legs."_

 _"Look at this! I am literally being eaten alive!"_ Bella points to the numerous mosquito bites on her legs.

 _"I got into a fight with a treebranch."_ Bella smiles at the camera and points to a scratch on her cheek.

 _"...it just came out of nowhere and knocked me on my ass."_ Bella getting knocked over by a rogue wave.

 _"...and the guy gave everyone these clothes...Show them your shirts guys...you see these? Aren't they nice?...and this right here is what I was given."_ Bella holds up a pair of tiny underware.

 _"...It's so much easier for men to aim than it is for women."_ Bella trying to pee into a bucket, while someone covers her with a towel, and then falling over.

 _"...Is this the right way? I kinda feel like this isn't the right way."_ Bella driving in a big city.

 _"...Ow!"_ Bella burning her finger on a joint.

 _"...Oh shit!"_ Bella falling down.

 _"...oh fuck...man down! Man doooown!..."_ Bella's GoPro camera rolling down a steep hill.

 _"...which way do I put it again?"_ Bella trying to attach a caribiner to a zipline.

 _"...I was attempting to chop this wood."_ Bella standing next to a log with a machete and looking rather winded while the log stands strong.

 _"...and this is what happens when you guy's get me drunk."_ Bella asleep on the beach with a sombrero on her head.

 _"...I forgot where the campground is."_ Bella hiking down a dirt road.

 _"...I didn't know that's what it was made out of."_ Bella eating a foreign dish and looking repulsed.

 _"...peddling my ass for a ride."_ Bella standing on the side of the road with her thumb in the air and shaking her ass.

 _"...I'm seriously contemplating becoming a lesbian."_ Bella surrounded by men in a dirty bus.

 _"...I can't get it opened."_ Bella trying open a tin can with a machete.

 _"...say hello to my little friend. Ah! shit!"_ Bella holding a iguana that doesn't want to be held.

 _"...whoops! That didn't go as planned."_ Bella's bathing suit coming untied.

 _"...I stink to high heavens. I'm really surprised Santino even kisses me."_ Bella sniffing her armpit and then gagging.

 _"...enjoying this nice cold beer...damnit! Well...I was enjoying that nice cold beer."_ Bella dropping a beer after only one sip.

 _"...my vagina is sacred."_ Bella getting dressed while the guys hold towels around her.

 _"...what the hell is this for?"_ Bella holds up an object that look's kind of like a wooden sex toy.

 _"...sometimes people are assholes."_ Bella and a group of other people making a run for it from a hotsprings pool after some locals took their clothes. The indecent parts were covered with big yellow smiley faces.

 _"...what does that mean?...Oh apparently that means nice titt's."_ Bella points the camera towards her chest. _"...Nice titt's! That's my South American name!"_ Bella laughs.

"... _the lesson we have learned from this is to always practice safe sex...and always always check the bedding for tarantulas."_ Bella running out of a van half dressed.

 _"...oh shit! thats a crocodile! I was just in that water...with a crocodile. I'm such a baddass!"_ Bella brushes off her shoulder in a cocky manner.

 _"... sex on the beach is all fun and games until some sand get's all in the mix."_ Bella making circular motions in front of her crotch while grimacing.

 _"...I accidentaly shot Mav in the ass with this dart."_ Bella holding up a blow dart and trying not to laugh.

The video cuts back to Jamie's face.

 _"The entire reason we changed the rating on our video's is for Two reasons and Two reasons alone. Reason 1: Bellas ass."_

There is a quick Ten second montage of Bella's ass in every imaginable angle.

 _"I like to shake it!"_ Bella shaking her ass.

 _"Reason number 2: Bella's potty mouth."_

Another montage with various shots of Bella showing her linquistic skills.

 _"Bella, we hope to run into you somewhere along our travels again. You will be missed."_

The video ended.


	8. Chapter 9

**AN: I want to say thank you from the very deepest part of my heart for every single person who has reached out to me. I am so very greatful for all of the help I have recieved.**

 **I especially want to thank LizziePaige, who not only made my banner for me, but also pre read and proofed this chapter as well.**

 **AllTheRage1983, for editing... and then editing again! Your amazing!**

 **jansails, for being so supportive and kind making me want to write this story.**

 **Last but not least, every single person who is following, reviewing and sharing this story! Thank you!**

 **The next chapter is mostly written and will be posted as soon as it ready.I will be posting weekly from here on out, in case anyone is wondering.**

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms..." ― Henry David Thoreau.

 **November 9th**

 **Forks Washington**

 _Son of a bitch!_

That was the first thought that came to my mind.

 _ **Alice Cullen?**_

How many years had it been? And she wants to reach out to me now? Did she finally manage to pull her head out of Edward's ass?

 _ **Well. I'll be sure to return that call**_ **...** _ **in about three years time**_ **.**

I deleted the message before I was tempted to actually call her and give her a piece of my mind.

A small part of me instantly regretted pressing that little red button. There was a nagging little voice in the back of my mind that was screaming at me for my own stupidly rash behavior. Then I remembered that not too long ago Mav had made the long trip from Portland to Forks, mostly on foot, just to see me for one evening. That was a real friend.

Alice Cullen takes three years to call me and leaves a message on my answering machine.

 _ **And I know her ass could make the trip a hell of a lot easier than Mav ever could!**_

With my mind made up and my conscience clear, I took my sandwich up to my room to continue catching up on emails. I was doing my best to work through all of them and reply to comments on my vlog, but I was just too distracted by that stupid little voice in the back of my head.

 _ **Why would she call now? After all this time?**_

I finally gave up on emailing when I realized in vain that I had spend the last ten minutes rereading the same paragraph. I clicked out of my email in disgust.

 _ **What the hell was wrong with me?**_

Try as I might, my brain would not shut off. There was a near constant loop of questions and non answers that always followed every time I dared to figure out anything to do with the Cullen family. I desperately needed something to distract me.

I stared out the window, into the evergreen forrest.

 _ **Freedom.**_

I had learned several lessons over the past three years. Sometimes the best way to escape the prison of your own troublesome thoughts was to go wherever nature and simplicity thrived.

"Hey, Dad, I'm headed back out for a week or two. I'll be back before Thanksgiving," I called out to Charlie as I dragged my pack down the stairs.

"Where you headed to?" Charlie actually got out of his recliner to meet me in the foyer.

"Just outside of Portland." I sat on the bottom stair to pull on my hiking boots.

"You're gonna hike all the way to Portland?" Charlie's eyebrows practically disappeared into his hairline.

"Yes, that is exactly what I will be doing." I fixed my gaze on a the coat rack, next to his head.

"As a man of the law, Bella, it is my job to inform you that hitching a ride is illegal." Charlie frowned at me.

"I know. Which is why I will be _hiking_." I smiled winningly.

"To Portland" Charlie deadpanned.

"Yup."

"I can give you a ride, Bella," Charlie offered.

"Yeah, I could also fly or take a train or a bus or rent a car. Where is the adventure in that, though?" I challenged.

"We'll take the cruiser. I'll let you flip the lights and sirens on whenever you want. How's that for an adventure?" Charlie smirked.

"While tempting, it is _my_ job as the daughter of a law man to inform _you_... that I am pretty sure that is illegal... or at the very least frowned upon." I stood up from my spot on the stairs.

"Will you at least call and keep in touch with me?" Charlie conceded.

"I will call you from every payphone along the way if that makes you happy."

"Yes. I know they have so many payphones out on those hiking trails," Charlie quipped.

"Dad, I'll be fine."

"I mean it Bella, you better check in so I know you're okay," Charlie grumbled.

"I will. I promise." I kissed his cheek before heading out the door.

Thirty minutes later I was seated comfortably in the back of a minivan.

Jan and Richard were on their way to Chehalis, Washington to attend a wedding. They were both in their mid-thirties. Jan worked as a bank teller and Richard was a real estate agent. They had three children, all of whom were under the age of six.

 _ **I was really living my life on the wild side.**_

The worst part about being stuck in the back of a minivan with three children was the frequent stops that needed to be made. There were several snack breaks, bathroom breaks, stretching breaks and even a thing Jan liked to call a 'meltdown break'.

 _ **If you don't know what a 'meltdown break' is… count your lucky stars.**_

On the plus side of things, I used every opportunity I could to incessantly call Charlie.

He didn't find it very amusing.

The long drive left me with entirely too much time to think about Alice and her unexpected phone call. This led to me being incredibly frustrated with not only Alice, but myself as well. I was a grown woman. I made a life for myself outside of the Cullen family. I didn't need anything from them. I especially didn't need to be wasting any of my time on thinking about them.

 _ **Why was it so difficult for me to just tune it all out?**_

Jan and Richard dropped me off at a gas station in Chehalis. I thanked them for the ride and made my way back towards the highway.

According to the mile marker sign just outside of Chehalis, Portland was another eighty-six miles away. I walked for a few miles before arriving at a rest stop.

I used the facilities and then sat down at an empty table to go over my Rand McNally fold out map. This map had been through my original trek out of Washington and it was one of my most treasured items. I was familiar with the area outside of Portland where Mav and the group were camping, I just needed to find the quickest route to get there. The drive from Forks to Chehalis had taken a little over six hours, which meant that it was already going on three o'clock in the afternoon.

It took me a while to hitch another ride. The closer you get to more populated towns or cities, the less likely you are to find someone who is willing to pick up a stranger. It was a universal rule of thumb that applied in every country I had been in, but especially in the United States. It was also a well-known fact that women generally had an easier time hitching a ride than men. Sometimes it was _too_ easy, which is why it was extremely important to use good judgment before getting into a car with someone. I had always followed my gut instinct and it had never let me down.

This is how I met Chad and Andrew, who were traveling from Spokane to Portland to spend the weekend with some of their friends. Chad drove an older model Honda that had a hatchback. Beggars couldn't be choosers, though, so I hopped into the backseat.

"You're that chick from the travel vlog on YouTube, right?" Chad asked me.

"Yup, that's me," I admitted.

"Cool! I've always wanted to do something like that," Andrew said.

"Yeah, but my old man would kill me if I gave up college to go travel," Chad agreed. "So are you going to put us on your video then?" he asked from his spot in the driver's seat.

"Um, yeah... sure. I mean, if you guy's don't mind," I was a bit thrown off by the question.

"That would be sweet!" Andrew pounded his fist lightly on the dashboard.

"We're gonna be famous!" Chad smiled.

"Oh, I'm not famous." I shook my head.

"Well, _I_ know who you are."

The trip with Andrew and Chad was fairly uneventful. I did my best to answer all of their questions about traveling and running a YouTube channel. Chad was studying marketing and was interested in the business side of it.

"Could I maybe interview you for my online marketing course?" Chad asked.

"Sure."

"Great! I'll give you my number and you can call me whenever your available."

"I don't always have access to a phone." I explained.

"Oh." he frowned.

"I can give you my email address, or you can contact me via my blog anytime."

"Alright. I'll get ahold of you when I get back to Washington."

"Sounds good." I smiled.

"We can drop you off in Gresham if that will make it any easier for you," Chad said as we were nearing Portland.

"That would be great!" I looked out at the setting sun and felt greatful for kind people and lucky breaks.

This is what I enjoyed most about traveling. The people I meet and the connections I make with them. If you allow yourself to, you can make friends in the most unlikely of places.

I posed for a few pictures with Chad and Andrew, and waved them goodbye at the entrance to Oxbow Regional Park, where Mav and the others were currently stationed.

I was hiking for well over an hour, keeping my eye's peeled for familiar faces as I went. The park was fairly empty, with it being the middle of November. I knew instantly when I reached the campground. The first thing to catch my eye was a familiar bright pink tent that I knew belonged to Shanah. I also recognized several familiar faces seated around a large bonfire as I entered the campground. Rian was the first person to take note of my arrival.

"Bella!" she cried, her eyes widened comically before she vacated her seat to throw her arms around my shoulders.

I knew I had made the right decision in taking this trip. I had missed these people more than I even realized.

After several hugs from many familiar faces, I was introduced to everyone I hadn't previously met. It was a fairly large group of people camping out, fourteen to be exact. Many of them were well-seasoned travelers who were just taking a break during the winter months.

Rian helped me set up my tent next to her and Shanah's. It was going on dinner time and everyone was doing their part to pitch in.

"Where's Mav?" I asked once we had secured the wind cover to the tent. Rian gave me a goofy grin.

"I was wondering when you were going to ask," she said while bumping my shoulder playfully.

I may have blushed slightly.

"He went on a beer run with Mark," she explained.

"I must have just missed him then." I staked down the last corner of the tent.

"Yeah... you guys are always just missing each other aren't you?" Rian waggled her eyebrows and I laughed.

"It's kinda our thing." I shrugged.

"But it doesn't _have_ to be your thing…" Rian trailed off.

"Are you trying to _ship_ me and Mav right now?!"

"I guess so. I mean, you guys make sense. Why not?" she shrugged.

"We do make sense, except I'm always going one direction and he is going another. Literally," I pointed out.

"I'm sure that if you asked Mav, he would gladly change direction." Rian countered.

"I couldn't ask him that though." I shook my head.

"Don't you think it's a tad ironic that Mav suddenly had a desperate need to explore the Pacific Northwest?" she gave me a pointed look.

"He's been everywhere else, why not?" I brushed off her suggestion.

"So you're not here for him then?"

"I don't know yet. I just... I _do_ miss him. I have missed him since he left Mexico. I like spending time with him. I was happy to see him when he came to visit." I plopped down onto my sleeping bag.

"It's entirely unrealistic for me and him to be anything other than what we are now though."

"The traveler's curse, huh?" Rian gave me a sad smile.

"I have terrible luck with men anyway." I blew a strand of hair off of my face.

"That's not true at all. Both of the men you have been with are amazing." she rolled her eyes.

"Trust me. You want to see some real dud's, I will gladly introduce you to a few of my ex boyfriends." she laughed.

"I can guarantee you they have nothing on my ex." I countered.

"Santino?" she squinted in confusion.

I shook my head. "No."

"Okay. Spill." She sat down next to me with her legs crossed.

"I may have had some outside motivation for coming here." I grimaced.

"Like...?" Rain motioned for me to continue.

"His sister left a message on my answering machine after three years of not even giving a damn about me," I spilled out.

"Your ex boyfriend's sister?"

"Yeah."

"... And?" she prompted.

"I was pissed! I mean… I was friends with her, too, and they kind of just left abruptly without even saying goodbye or trying to stay in contact!"

"Well, what did she have to say for herself?" Rian asked.

"She didn't really say anything on the message. She just left me her number."

"Hmm… I'm guessing you haven't called her back?"

"I erased the message," I confessed.

"Oh."

"Anyway... I needed a distraction and then I saw a video that Mav posted and... here I am." I flung my arms out wide, motioning to the space around us.

"You must have really liked this guy," Rian said after a moment.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, I've never seen you get so wound up over a guy before," she shrugged.

"I'm not wound up," I defended.

"Sure, okay." she laughed.

We stared at each other for several moments, Rian's gaze never leaving my face.

"Fuck! I'm totally wound up!" I covered my face with both hands.

"Do I know this guy?" Rian asked.

"No, he was a high school boyfriend." I shook my head.

"Was he hot?" Rian tried to lighten the mood.

"Rian! That is _so_ not the point!" I shoved her playfully.

"I disagree. If you're still attracted to this guy enough to let a simple call from his sister bother you this much..." she trailed off.

"I think it has less to do with the guy and more to do with the circumstances," I try to explain.

"Right. If that's what you need to tell yourself," Rian scoffed.

"I don't know. All I _do_ know is I can't let this shit get under my skin." I blew out a deep breath.

"Maybe she recognized you from your vlog and wanted to check in with an old friend?" Rian suggested.

"After three years?" I was skeptical.

"I bet you wish you didn't erase that message now, huh?" Rian said after a moment.

"Rub it in, why don't you!" I crossed my arms, frustrated.

"Sorry, but sometimes your impulsive behavior gets you in trouble." Rian snickered.

"Sometimes," I agreed.

"So what are you gonna do?" she questioned.

"I have no clue."

"What about Mav?" she continued.

"I think me and Mav are good the way we are, for now anyway. "

"I agree." Rian nodded.

"Really?"

"You shouldn't jump into anything serious unless you are sure about it," she nodded.

"Hey! You two going to join the rest of us?" Shanah poked her head into my tent.

"We were just catching up." I smiled

"Mav just got back with the beer." She gave me a knowing smirk.

 **Vlog # 495**

 _"_ _ **Hey viewers, I hope you can hear me over this craziness going on around me. I'm currently in Oregon. I arrived earlier this evening to spend some time with some old friends, as well as new."**_ I flipped my camera around to show the viewers a better view of the campground and all of its inhabitants.

 _ **"...As you can see… it's almost impossible to not celebrate when you have this many amazing people together in one spot."**_ I paused as someone began to strum an acoustic guitar and a loud whoop of drunken cheers followed.

 _ **"...And that is my cue to get off here so I can join the festivities!"**_ I laughed.

 _ **"...Happy travels. I'll see you soon!"**_ I waved to the camera before turning it off.

"Come on! All work and no play makes Bella a dull girl." Mav grabbed me by the waist to pull me towards the fire.

"Is that how you greet all the girls?" I reached up on my tiptoes and snatched his beanie off his head.

"Is that how you flirt with all of the boys?" his eyes flickered briefly to my lips.

"You would know." I smirked, placing the beanie on my head.

"I missed you." he pulled me into a hug.

"Yeah?" I whisper against his neck.

His hands flex ever so lightly around my waist. I throw caution to the wind, using my tounge to taste the sensitive spot just below his right ear lobe.

"Christ. Bella." He groaned lowly.

I hide my victorious smile in the crook of his neck.

"You like that don't you?" his hands slide down and around until he is cupping my bottom lightly

"What?" I play innocent.

"Teasing me," he whispers in my ear.

"It's not very nice." his facial hair scruffs lightly against the sensitive skin on my neck.

"Mmm." I tangle my fingers into the hair at the base of his neck.

"I never said I was a nice girl."

His grip tightens, pulling me against his very prominent manhood.

I widen my stance slightly, giving myself the leverage I needed to kiss him fully.

"Shit." he mumbles against my lips.

His hands are cool from being outside and I flinch slightly when they slide under my sweatshirt. He kisses me harder and deeper with each passing second until I am panting and disoriented.

"Get a room!" Someone hollers playfully. A chorus of drunken laughter rings out around the campground. Reality comes crashing back into focus. I took a small step back, creating some space in between us.

He groaned lowly, adjusting himself without shame.

"Tease!" he accused, but I could see the smile in his eye.

"Sorry." I breathed heavily, trying to catch my breath.

"No you're not." he shook his head.

I really wasn't.


	9. Chapter 10

**AN: Thank you so much to AllTheRage1983 for all of her help correcting my numerous grammatical errors. I owe her big time!**

 **Also, shout out to LizziePaige for pre reading and just for being an amazing person in general.**

 **Thank you all for reviewing and sharing this story with others. I cannot even describe how grateful I am to all of you.**

 **November 4th**

 **New Hampshire- Cullen Residence**

 **Edward**

 _"It seems to me, that love could be labeled poison_

 _and we'd drink it anyways" - Atticus_

I had become weary long ago.

The constant strain to maintain the distance I had forced between myself and Bella had become strenuous. Foolishly, I had believed the passing of time would make it easier to exist in a world where she was no longer mine.

How incredibly wrong I had been.

Time used to mean something else entirely to me. Decades used to pass with very little consequence. Now it was my greatest enemy, mocking me with each passing day that I had to suffer through my "self-inflicted" torment.

I glanced around the now obliterated living room, a mess of splintered wood and broken glass. It was the scene of my own destruction.

I was destroyed.

My family, an audience to the bloodless slaughter, spectators in a dangerous game. I struggled to process the emotions that crashed over me in unrelenting waves.

I had never felt so bruised or battered in all of my years.

Rage. I wanted to annihilate every one of her lovers. I wanted to consume their every thought, destroy every memory of them knowing her in a way only I should have been allowed to. I wanted to watch them break and burn for their careless impunity.

Jealousy. I wanted to be her lover. How dare some boy try to take my rightful place. I wanted to make her regret every touch and every kiss she ever gave away to them. Didn't she know they were not hers to give away anymore? How could she give to them what she had already bestowed to me?

Horror. I wanted to scream until my throat bled. Her life played out in gory detail for me to witness in the highest resolution. The dawning realization that she had been living and breathing as if I never existed, as if I meant nothing. I had promised her my absence and she mocked it with spectacular callousness. There was no gaping hole in her life, no empty void to remind her of the spaces I used to occupy.

Respect. I wanted to bow down and worship at her feet. Where I had been cowardly and gutless, she had been brave and fearless. A girl who once described herself as being graceless, had become as fluid as the waters she swam in. She grew while I stagnated. She was stronger than I ever could have imagined and more beautiful than I had ever remembered.

Joy. I wanted to rejoice, to stand in her presence and feel the jubilance she radiated. She burned brighter than the sun and smiled without fear. This woman was light incarnate, illuminating a world full of shadows.

She was a magnet, charismatic and captivating. The first to laugh at her own mishaps. Did she know how others perceived her? Was she aware of her demanding presence, the way she commanded each and every person's undivided attention?

Guilt. I wanted to repent all of my sins, beg forgiveness from not only her but also my family. I had uttered the most blasphemous of lies to her, denounced my love, hid my complete and total devotion from her. I had watched as she recognized my lies for what they really were. She had given me her heart and I had cast it away as if it were worthless. It was an unforgivable sin.

Pride. I wanted the opportunity to tell her how very proud I was of the person she became. She had taken the broken pieces I left behind and she had rebuilt. I stood entirely corrected in my assumption of her frail humanity, her inability to be a true equal. She had far surpassed me by leaps and bounds. She was made of flesh and blood and she was the most dangerous creature I had ever encountered.

Regret.

Mostly regret.

I gripped my hair tightly with both hands, trying to regain my composure. I was afraid to look my family in their faces, to allow them to see me unhinged and unguarded. I had never allowed myself to become this transparent, this vulnerable. It had always been easier for me to hide behind the façade.

They hadn't spoken a single word since I unleashed my rage on every available item in the living room. Instead, they stood silently as I furiously tore my way through furniture and electronics. I had shouted obscenities and thrown priceless possessions, blind and uncaring to the damage I had caused. The television suffered the worst fate of all.

It laid in a crumbled mess on the floor, a symbol of my numerous failings.

"Edward," Carlisle said softly.

I watched as bits of dust and debris floated heavily in the air around me. Everything that had happened since that day in the woods; it was all pointless. I was never going to be able to stay away from her now.

I had failed.

I really couldn't care less about my spectacular defeat at this point. If I was really being honest with myself, I knew it was a lost cause from the beginning. I had seen it in my siblings minds, the all-consuming pull they felt whenever they were away from their mates.

My inability to stay away from her from the beginning: following her to Port Angeles, telling her my family's secret, inviting her to our home, flaunting our relationship at school, marking my territory.

Claiming my mate.

I had already lost control over the situation a long time ago. It was pointless to continue trying to fight it.

Defeated.

Resigned.

"I fucked up." I looked towards my family.

"About time," Rose snarked.

"Rosalie, not now." Carlisle's voice was hard.

Rosalie looked away, admonished.

"I'm sorry Edward," Alice whispered.

"She won't ever forgive me." It wasn't a question.

"I know," she confirmed, finally allowing me to see the visions she had been hiding.

Bella slamming the door in my face. Bella telling me to go 'fuck myself.' Bella climbing a snow capped mountain. Bella kissing somebody else.

A growl ripped through my chest.

"I'm so sorry." Alice shook her head sadly.

"Anybody care to fill the rest of us in?" Emmett threw his arms up in exasperation.

"So sorry for not putting on a better show for you Emmett," I hissed.

"S'okay. Just... don't let it happen again," he joked and punched my arm playfully. Leave it to Emmett to not grasp the severity of the situation.

"Bella?" Esme questioned.

"I'm going to Forks," I explained.

"I'm coming with you," Alice insisted as she stepped forward.

"No, Alice. I think I need to do this alone." I ran my hand through my hair.

"I've seen it. You're gonna need me."

"Of course you have," I deadpanned.

"So, you're finally gonna cave?" Jasper smirked.

"Do I really have any other option?"

"No, I'm just glad you've finally figured it out. That brooding shit was really getting on my nerves."

"Amen. Just bite her ass and get it over with," Emmett muttered.

"Emmett!" Esme scolded.

"Sorry. I tell it like it is," he shrugged, unaffected.

"I'm not going to change her," I denied, shaking my head.

"Oh great,ere we go again." Rosalie huffed.

"You seem to have an opinion on this matter, Rose," I growled.

"Yeah, I do actually," she raised her voice. "I think you're an incredibly pompous asshole who still hasn't learned his lesson and if you go to Forks with the intention of doing anything other than changing Bella you are in for a very rude awakening." She crossed her arms.

"I can't do that." I shook my head.

"Well then just go back to wherever the hell you came from and leave Bella alone," Rose continued to argue.

I gave Carlisle a pointed look. Why wasn't he handling her? Carlisle looked away, clearly not willing to take my side on this.

"So what?" I threw my arms up."You're all okay with me taking Bella's life away from her?" I looked around at my family's faces.

"It's the only way," Esme whispered.

"No, it can't be. I can't do that. I _won't,_ " I spit out.

"Then don't even bother," Alice said, giving me a disappointed look. "She won't want anything to do with you anyway," she said as an afterthought.

"Thanks so much Alice!" I grimaced.

"It's true. You think you can just show up and charm her into forgiving you?" she asked."Well I'm telling you that won't work Edward. She's not that girl anymore. She's had men charming her for years now. You're nothing new." Her words stung.

"Enough!" I growled.

"I bet Bella isn't even in Forks," Rose said. Everyone turned to look at her in question."What? I skipped forward a bit." She shrugged.

"Where is she?" I asked, trying to get passed her mind block.

"Hmm." Rose tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"Rose!" I roared.

"I'd say she's cuddled up with hot blogger guy right about now," she smirked.

Her mind replayed a video of Bella in a sleeping bag with a man. I flinched.

"What's the matter Edward?" Rose asked innocently.

"Stop!"

"No. I don't think I want to." She began focusing on other videos of Bella. My hands shook and I had to swallow back several mouthfuls of venom.

Jasper flinched, clearly feeling every bit of emotion that was rolling off of me.

"Rose, that's quite enough. I think you got your point across." Carlisle placed his arm on her shoulder.

The images faded, but I would remember them for the rest of my existence.

"Serves you right." Rose turned to walk up the stairs. "Come on Emmett. I need to hunt."

"Aw man," Emmett sighed. "You pissed her off. Thanks, Edward." He smacked me over the back of the head before following after her.

"Edward, you need to think this through. If you are unwilling to change for Bella's sake, then you should leave her to her life." Carlisle shook his head sadly before walking away.

"I know you are struggling. I also know that you will do the right thing." Esme patted my cheek in a motherly fashion.

Alice and Jasper stayed behind.

"Ugh! If you would just decide to change her, I would be able to see more clearly!" Alice groaned.

"You think that is the factor?" I narrowed my eyes, considering her theory.

"One of them," she confirmed with a nod.

"It's not simple, Edward. Bella didn't just want to be changed just because she wanted to be like us." Jasper said.

"Something so simple?" I was skeptical.

"She wanted to be changed because it would make her your equal," he explained.

"That's besides the point. You need to realize it isn't even your decision to make. It's Bella's life." Alice cut in.

"And that's only if she is even willing to talk to you at all," Jasper helpfully reminded me.

If I had to choose between changing Bella or not having Bella in my life at all, what choice did I really have? I would be at her mercy from this point forward. It was a terrifying realization.

"You need to hunt." Jasper winced. "I can _feel_ it." he grabbed his throat.

"I ran the entire way here." I explained.

"Go, we'll still be here when you get back." It sounded more like a threat than a promise.

When I arrived back to the house after hunting that evening, the family was gathered around the large dining room table. Emmett was setting up a game of monopoly.

 _How very Brady Bunch of them._

I shot Jasper a conspiratorially look. He smirked in acknowledgment.

"You playing?" Emmett asked.

"I'll sit this one out." I turned to leave.

"Here." Esme patted the empty seat between her and Jasper. "At least sit with us, will you?" My eyes shifted to Carlisle, who was pleading with me in his mind.

 **'...she has missed you so much. We all have'** he pushed the thought towards me.

I nodded in silent understanding.

"I can referee." I gave Esme a small smile before sitting down.

"That sounds wonderful." she patted my shoulder.

Several hours later, I was regretting my decision to participate.

"Emmett. It doesn't work that way." I groaned in irritation. "The rules clearly state you have to own all of the properties first." I tried to explain.

"This is taking too long though." Emmett pouted childishly.

"I'm fine with playing that way. If everyone else agrees." Jasper shrugged. He was beginning to lose interest in the game.

There was a unanimous agreement around the table. I rolled my eyes.

"Why even bother playing if you are not going to play by the rules?" I leaned back in my chair.

"That's your problem Edward," Rose said. "Your always so focused on the rules, you never have any fun."

"I disagree, rules are what enable the game to have structure." I argued.

"Structure isn't fun though" Jasper said.

"It can be, if everyone follows the rules."

Rosalie snorted.

"Do you have something to add to this conversation, Rose?" I folded my hands neatly on the table.

"You're such a tight ass!" Rosalie laughed. "Not every moment of the day needs to be regimented Edward. Live a little."

"Is this going to turn into another intervention?" I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"Clearly the last one wasn't very effective," Alice muttered.

"Rules are made to be broken. You know why?" Emmett paused.

"Because it's more fun that way." Jasper leaned over the table to give Emmett a fist bump.

"Exactly." Emmett rubbed his hands together. "You know who breaks a lot of rules, Edward?" he raised one brow.

"Bella." he grinned.

"Ugh." I groaned. "Do not start Emmett. I can only be pushed so far." I warned.

The room went silent while everyone remembered various scenes of my previous meltdown in the living room.

"That's a risk I'm just going to have to take." Emmett shrugged.

"Excuse me?" I was taken aback.

"You heard me. I'm not going to sensor my thoughts or opinions to make you happy anymore." he shrugged. "Besides, from what Rosalie has told me, Bella isn't really your concern anymore."

"How do you figure that?" I narrowed my eyes.

"She's someone else's concern now. It's kind of obvious" he scoffed.

I knew that he was trying to get a reaction out of me. That didn't make it any easier for me to ignore.

"That _boy_?" I had to work to keep my voice calm.

"What did you think they were doing Edward?" Rose laughed.

"Shut up Rose!" I swiftly stood from my spot at the table. "Haven't you fucking tortured me enough!" I screamed manically. I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the glass window. My eyes were pitch black with rage.

"Not nearly enough, apparently." she muttered.

"What do you want me to do?" I threw my arms up. "I'm here, trying, even though you insist on constantly berating me with your thoughts!" I shoved my vacated chair out of my way a little too roughly. It flew against the wall with a loud crash.

"I don't know how you do it, man." Emmett shook his head disbelievingly. "I mean, If some guy was banging Rose, I wouldn't be able to stand back and let it happen." he pictured Bella with the human boy from the video.

"Enough Emmett!" I slammed my fist down against the table, causing a large crack to fissure across the surface. "I'm _letting_ it happen? You make it sound like I have any control over the situation!" I swallowed back a mouthful of venom.

Emmett has an especially _vivid_ memory, and he had been using it to shout every miniscule detail he could remember into the deepest recesses of my mind. I was exhausted from trying to push the countless thoughts and images away for such a prolonged amount of time.

"She's your mate!" Emmett roared back. "Get off your brooding ass and _do_ something about it!"

"I think we need to take this outside." Jasper stood hastily. "I don't think the house is going to withstand anymore outbursts." he looked towards the living room.

"Do what?" I chuckled without humor. "Show up at her door and ask for her neck to bite?"

"That's better than what your doing right now." Alice cried.

"You don't understand." I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration.

" I hate him. I _do_." I seethed. "For the obvious reasons of course, but mostly because he can give her _everything_ I can't!"

"That's where you have it all wrong Edward." Esme shook her head sadly. "He's not her mate, you know that."

"How do I make her see that now though? I've done something unforgivable." I said.

"You have to try. That's all you can do." she responded.

"I told her she wasn't _good_ enough. I told her she didn't belong in my world. I told her, _promised_ her, it would be as if I never existed." I whispered.

Rose gasped loudly, her hand covering her mouth.

"You see?" I looked at each of their shocked faces. "I deserve to watch her be happy with someone like him."

"You do." Rose agreed.

"Rosalie!" Esme scolded.

"No. I'm not finished." Rose prodded my shoulder roughly. I stumbled back slightly.

"The sad part is that you _do_ deserve to watch her be happy with somebody else. But even _I_ have to acknowledge that you will _always_ be better suited for her." she glanced at Emmett, her expression softening.

"I would give almost anything to be able to have a baby of my own, _anything,_ except Emmett." she whispered. "You know that. You don't get to choose for other people Edward. It's unfair to Bella that you left without giving her a chance to make her choice."

"You have to go and at least try. Even if it means you will be nothing more than a friend to Bella. You owe her the chance to make that decision herself." Carlisle nodded.

They were right.

"Alice, when does the next flight take off?"

"I already booked it." she closed her eyes, searching for a new future.


	10. Chapter 11

**AN: Thank you so very much to AllTheRage1983 for being a fantastic Beta. I also want to thank all of you who take the time to review and keep me motivated to continue writing this story.**

 **I have been getting several PM's asking me about who Bella is going to end up with. This is an Edward and Bella story, with a slightly different twist to it.**

Oxbow Regional Park- Oregon

-November 15th-

Bella

"Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation.

Be notorious." -Rumi

"On belay." I placed my left hand flat against the granite wall.

"Belay on," Mav answered back.

I craned my head back slightly, analyzing the best course to take up the sheer face of the cliff. After making my choice, I turned my head slightly to give Mav a slight nod.

"Climbing," I said.

"Climb on," he responded.

I dipped my fingers into my chalk bag before lifting my right leg slightly, carefully placing my toe onto a small niche in the rock. I used my weight to test its reliability before continuing on.

I climbed my way up slowly, but precisely; every step carefully planned out before I moved a single muscle. Rock climbing was no joke, especially when you were fifty feet in the air, in the middle of the wilderness. I paused halfway up the cliff, unable to find any natural holds that were not going to require a fairly large amount of flexibility.

This must have been the crux that Mav had mentioned.

My arm muscles burned from the amount of infrequent exercise I had subjected them to. I needed to work on building my upper body strength.

"Take," I called down to Mav.

"Got," he called up.

I allowed my muscles to relax slightly, still maintaining my grip on all of my holds. My eyes scanned further up, calculating the distance and positioning I would need to advance further.

"Knee drop," Mav called up to me. "You're too short to make it without going lateral first," he explained further.

I took his advice, dropping my knee at an angle, moving my body snuggly against the wall. I slowly made my way several feet to the left. There was a small crack further over that allowed me to toe hook my way further up.

"Perfect!" Mav called out.

Once I finally hoisted myself over the top of the cliff, I took a moment to catch my breath. I rested my hands on both knees, slowly breathing in and out. The scenery was incredible from the top. Trees as far as the eyes could see, spread out before me. The sky was a perfect watercolor of blues and whites, blending together in the most gorgeous image of the Pacific Northwest I had ever witnessed.

' _I'm standing in a postcard,'_ I thought to myself.

I peered over the cliff to where Mav was patiently waiting.

"It's beautiful!" I called down. A cheesy smile on my face. I was exhilarated.

"Told you!" he called up.

Vlog #503

" _I'm literally speechless viewers."_ I stared into the camera. _"I'm going to let the camera do all of the work for me."_ I turned my GoPro towards the edge of the cliff, giving the viewers a first person perspective, a chance to experience this marvelous view for themselves.

" _You see that?"_ I spoke softly. _"That's what it's all about right there. Does life get any better than this?"_ I turned the camera back to face me.

" _I'll see you guys at the bottom."_ I waved goodbye.

After safely placing both of my feet on solid ground, I threw my arms around Mav's neck, surprising him slightly.

"That was…" I trailed off, unable to explain fully.

He chuckled lightly. "You've been practicing."

"We did a lot of climbing in Hidalgo," I explained.

"I'm kind of jealous." He reached down to my harness, loosening one of my carabiners.

"Of what?" I laughed.

"Whatever it is that makes you smile like that." He shrugged.

"I could say the same, you know." I pulled my harness fully off.

"About what?" He began rolling up our ropes.

"The way you look whenever you've mastered some uncharted territory," I explained.

"I guess we are both in love with the thrill of adventure, huh?" he acknowledged.

"Exactly. Who needs sex when you can climb a mountain instead?" I pondered.

His hands paused their movement.

"Okay, I'm not _that_ in love with adventure." He looked at me in surprise.

I burst out laughing. "Oh! The look on your face," I snickered.

"You had me worried." He shook his head.

"Were you questioning your skills?" I asked in disbelief. Mav was always so confident in everything he did. I had never seen him be anything less than self-assured.

"Kinda." He scratched the back of his neck nervously. "I mean, if that's how you feel about sex, I've clearly been doing something wrong," he laughed.

I stepped closer to him, hooking my index fingers into his belt loops. I used my tiptoes to make myself taller.

"Oh, don't worry," I whispered. "I'm completely satisfied in that department." I placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"Yeah?" He gripped my thighs roughly. I unhooked my fingers and wrapped them around his neck.

"You don't want anything more?" he questioned

"Like a relationship?" I stepped back slightly, I had been dreading this particular conversation.

"Yeah, or… I don't know," he sighed. "It's weird to bring up but…" he trailed off.

"What?" I pushed.

"Why do I always get the feeling you're never really anchored in the moment?" He looked into my eyes.

"What do you mean?" I stepped back slightly, examining his face for answers.

He sighed deeply. "It can be a bit intimidating, knowing that I would have to compete with all of this…" he motioned towards the cliff first and then the forest surrounding us. "...to keep your attention, Bella."

"You don't have to." I shook my head.

He smiled and grunted. "I wouldn't even try to. It would be a tragedy to keep you grounded to anything other than what you truly love. I can relate to that," he explained.

"I'm sorry," I tried to apologize.

"What for? We both got into this with the same understanding. I don't hold anything against you for following your heart." He hugged me to him."I think you are the bravest person I have ever known." He kissed the side of my head.

"Thank you." I smiled into his chest.

"For what?" He looked down at me.

"Just… for being a good friend and understanding how I function," I said.

"I think me and you are very similar. It's not hard for me to understand you, because I'm also ruled by the same ailment."

"Which is?" I questioned.

"Wanderlust," he stated simply. "Searching for something entirely out of yourself or anyone else, something you don't fully recognize until your there in the moment and it's staring you in the face. People like us can't live with a nine to five job and a picket fence. It would crush our soul." he explained.

"Wow. I couldn't explain it better," I whispered. He had a fairly accurate understanding of my need to remain on the move, even if he had some of the motivation behind it wrong.

He smiled down at me. After several moments of silence he stepped back.

"Alright, I'm starving." He reached down to retrieve our climbing gear. "Let's head back to camp."

Later that evening I was seated around the fire, chatting with Rian and Shanah.

"Mark and I are going back South," Shanah told us. "My ass needs to be planted on a beach somewhere." She took a sip of her cocoa.

"It's tempting." I adjusted Mav's beenie on my head.

"I wouldn't mind being a beach bum for the rest of my life," Rian agreed.

"I was thinking Thailand next." I wrapped my throw blanket around me tighter.

"Thailand! I'm there girl, just say the word." Rian perked up.

"I thought you were going to climb Everest or something?" Shanah snorted.

"Right. I meant after _Rainier_." I laughed.

"I always knew you were a little crazy, I just never expected you to pull a Christopher McCandless," Shanah teased.

"Please, I could never be that cool," I scoffed.

"Bella, you _are_ that cool." She rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. I'm freezing my ass off _now_ , I really have no idea how I am going to do this." I whined.

"Mav can keep you warm." Shanah wagged her brows suggestively.

"Damn straight!" Mav whooped from a few spots over.

"Stop eavesdropping on our girly time!" Rian threw a small stick towards his head. She missed by a long shot, the stick ended up pegging Mark in the shoulder instead.

"Watch it woman! I need all of my appendages." Mark chuckled.

"Speaking of appendages, I can't feel my toes." Shanah wiggled her feet in circles.

"Isn't there supposed to be a hot spring somewhere around here?" I turned to Mav.

"About two miles south." He nodded.

"What the hell are we doing here then?" I asked nobody in particular.

"I'm game if you are," he said.

"Definitely game," I said standing up from my spot.

It took us an hour to find the hot spring, but it was worth the trek once we were comfortably seated in the large pool of warm water.

"Hey, remember that time in Venezuela that we went to that mud bath?" Mark looked towards me and Rian.

"Yeah," I laughed at the memory. "Wasn't that where the bus ended up getting stuck and we had to wait for someone to come along with four-wheel-drive to pull us out?"

"That was it!" Mark smiled. "Then on the way out we ran into those snotty tourist girls who kept giving you nasty looks."

"...and Rian almost ended up in jail." I splashed water at Rian playfully.

"Ugh! Are we ever going to stop bringing that up?" Rian covered her face.

"Hell no!" I burst out laughing. "I still think about it whenever I am in need of a good laugh."

"Oh? Well how about your very first camping trip?" Rian burst into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.

"What?" Mark looked towards me.

"Hey! We agreed to never mention that again." I shot her a reproachful look.

"No, you _demanded_ we never mention it. I made no such agreement." Rian smirked.

It was my turn to be embarrassed. "I can't even…" I trailed off.

"That's okay. I tell the story better anyway." Rian tried to control her laughter enough to talk evenly.

"Oh my god." I whispered, knowing she was going to recount my unfortunate mishap in all of its glory .

"So, Bella and I met at a bus station in Utah, we were both fairly new at the whole traveling thing. We hit it off and decided to stick together since we were both headed to South America anyway…" she began.

"I can't believe your doing this to me." I covered my face with both hands.

"Shut up. I'm telling a story here." Rian snickered."Anyway, about two weeks in, we decide we are going to ditch the bus station route and get out in the big wide world and explore, right?" she chuckled lightly. "So we are traveling for a while and we decide we are going to camp out in this state park. I'm from New York and have never camped a day in my life," she explains. "Bella here, who has been carrying this enormous pack full of camping gear over three state lines and is wearing a very deceiving plaid shirt, looks like she is an outdoor aficionado."

Having never heard Rian's unique perspective of this particular story before, I couldn't help myself. I began laughing hysterically. This caused Rian to join in, and before I knew it, we were clutching each other while the rest of the group laughed at our antics. Eventually, we both calmed enough for Rian to continue.

"So, I figure Bella's totally got this, right? We'll be just fine. I'm thinking I'm with the female version of Bear Grylls, off to explore the great outdoors." She snorts. "So we get to this state park, and they charge an entry fee at the gate. That should have been our first red flag, now that I think of it." She shoots me a look. "Whatever. We pay the entry fee and we walk down this very nice paved roadway until we find a camping spot right next to a creek. It has a very nice built in firepit, a picnic table and electricity hooks up for our _ver_ y non-existent RV."

The entire group was laughing at this point, unable to contain themselves. Even though I knew I should be embarrassed, especially in the present company, I couldn't help but laugh with them.

"It's getting dark and we are both really hungry because we haven't eaten all day. So we get to work setting up the tent." She paused, wiping her eyes. "Bella has this four-person tent that has never been used before and we spend an hour trying to set it up. I kept saying that something didn't look right, but we had read and re-read the instructions and it seemed like we had followed every step perfectly. We get it all set up and we go to open the tent door and realize we can't unzip it." She shook her head. "We eventually figure out the reason we can't open the tent door is because the tent was inside out. This also explained why we struggled so badly to find the correct hooks to snap the poles into. We figured they must have them covered for some reason."

I completely lost my shit at that point, along with everyone else. It took several minutes for everyone to calm down enough for Rian to continue.

"So,we're like, 'well shit' and now we have to take it down and set it back up properly. At this point I turned to Bella and asked her how opposed she is to just sleeping on the ground. She's stubborn though, so we take the tent down and set it up properly. It's now pitch black outside and we both need to eat and use the bathroom. We had seen a public restroom on the way to our spot, so we decide to try to find it with only a tiny little flashlight."

I glanced over to see that Rian had everyone's undivided attention, regailing them with one of my most embarrassing moments.

"We mad it to the bathroom without any problems, but on our way back to our campsite we noticed that nobody had any fires lit. We thought that was a bit odd, but we continued about our merry way. We stopped at a campground not too far from our's to chat with a nice gentleman who then proceeded to inform us that we couldn't have a fire. Apparently, there were several forest fires going on in the surrounding areas and the forest service had banned all fires. This put a hitch in our dinner plans, as Bear Grylls here didn't think to pack a camp stove." Rian nodded her head towards me.

"We decided 'fuck it.' We'll just eat some power bars and call it a night." She chuckled. "Only problem was that when we finally make it back to our campsite, our tent had blown into the creek and was soaking wet. We went to bed starving, and we ended up sleeping on the ground in our sleeping bags while the tent air dried."

"To make matters worse, we were woken up really early in the morning by a park ranger who informed us that we needed to vacate our campground immediately because it had previously been reserved by somebody else." I burst out laughing.

"Later on, once we had gotten better acquainted, I realized that Bella had little to no experience 'roughing it' outdoors, and we decided to do some research before trying it again. We got better as time went on, but I will never forget that first trip into the wild." Rian snorted.

"Wow, Bella, I never would have guessed." Mav was shaking with laughter.

"Oh, you have no idea." I smiled ruefully.

Later that evening, as I was staring up at the ceiling of my tent, a smile broke out on my lips. I was so incredibly happy I had decided to come to Oregon and spend this time with these amazing people I called my friends. It was exactly what my soul needed. I felt renewed and ready to take on anything that may come my way. Even Alice Cullen. I had made it passed every other obstacle in my life, why should she be any different. I needed to toughen up and get past my Cullen issue. It was about time. I had a feeling that I would hear from Alice again, eventually. She always had an uncanny knack for getting her way. I briefly wondered if she had a vision of me deleting her message. I hoped she had. I hoped it pissed her off.

As usual, I was the first to wake up. I remained huddled in the warmth of my sleeping bag, not quite ready to greet the cold morning that was waiting for me outside. The campground was eerily silent now that almost everyone had moved on to other adventures.

I had been in Oregon for almost a week. Most of my time was spent catching up with old friends as well as planning for the upcoming summit trip in the Spring. While most of our group had moved on, Rian and a few others had stuck around. After several days of listening to us plan out the finer details for the summit trip, Rian and Mark both decided to try their hand at mountaineering as well. What had started off as a spontaneous adventure had now turned into an ever-increasing group endeavor.

Mav, who had spent a few months trekking his way through part of the Swiss Alps, was the most experienced out of all of us. Even he admitted he was far out of his comfort zone when it can to attempting to summit a volcano. That was what made it even more exciting though: doing something entirely new and pushing ourselves to grow in the process.

While we enjoyed a good challenge, we were not entirely crazy. We had no illusions about how taxing it was going to be, or how dangerous. We would each be doing our part to prepare appropriately. Jacob had already offered to be a guide, something he did part time for a tourist company out of Port Angeles. He had been to the summit on several occasions and was well versed in proper gear and the skill sets needed for such a trip. I had readily agreed to take him up on the offer.

Mav and a few of his closer friends, including Parker and Anna, a couple who I had met in Brazil, would make their way to Washington in the beginning of March.

The holidays were quickly approaching, and many people were headed home to spend time with their family. Rian was flying back to New York in the morning, but she promised to come back ready to tackle a mountain, literally.

Mav would also be flying back to Ireland for Christmas. I offered to keep him company in the meantime, but he was already moving on to warmer climates. He had been offered a hefty sum of money to attend a blogger convention in Las Vegas the following weekend. I turned down his offer to join him. Vegas wasn't exactly my cup of tea.

There was a crisp frost hanging in the air. I could taste it on the back of my throat, snow was on its way.

It was time to return to Forks.

"Keep in touch?" Mav asked me as I swung my pack over my shoulder.

"Of course." I gave him a hug.

"Keep me updated about the summit trip. Is that Jacob guy cool with all of us joining?" He gave me a strange look.

"Jake? Yeah, he's cool." I shrugged.

"Alright. Well, I'll see you in March." he smiled.

"March," I agreed, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

I opened the door to Charlie's house later than evening. I was starving and in desperate need of a shower.

"Bells?" Charlie called from his recliner.

"Yeah, Dad, it's me." I removed my heavy layers of clothing and Mav's pilfered beanie from my head before making my way into the living room.

"You look...rugged." Charlie commented on my appearance.

"I probably smell pretty rugged, too." I laughed. "What'd you do while I was gone?" I sat down on the sofa, removing my hiking boots and wool socks.

"Nothing much. Jake and Billy came to visit yesterday. Jake left you a note on the counter." he pointed towards the kitchen counter.

"Sounds fun." I leaned back against the couch, closing my eyes for a moment.

"Tired?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah. The good kind of tired though." I smiled.

"Have fun catching up with your friends?" He muted the television.

"Yeah, I did. I didn't even realize how much I missed Rian." I opened my eyes.

Charlie frowned. "The little blonde girl with all of the facial piercings and tattoos?" he asked.

"Yes." I gave him a challenging look.

"Hmph." he grumbled lowly. "That reminds me, another one of your weird friends stopped by the other day."

"My friends are not weird." I defended. "Who was it?" I asked. I wasn't expecting any visitors.

"Alice Cullen." He gave me a sideways glance. "Said she was in town visiting for the holidays. Also left you a note on the counter."

I wasn't nearly as surprised as I should have been. Alice always had a way of pulling this kind of crap. Her stubbornness knew no bounds. I was suddenly very thankful for her calling ahead of time and giving me a chance to mull things over in my head. I was feeling much more prepared to deal with a possible run-in than I was before my trip to Oregon.

"That's it?" I asked calmly.

"Yeah. She left in a hurry after I told her you weren't here. Strange girl." He gave me a pointed look.

I made no comment.

"Now that my secretarial duties are over, I'm going to go pick up a pizza for dinner." Charlie smirked. "You should probably take a shower. You look like a bush person." He got out of his recliner.

"Thanks, Dad," I quipped.

"You gonna be okay?" He gave me a questioning look.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I wrinkled my brow in confusion.

"I know you've moved on and all, but you took it pretty hard when that boy moved away." He fiddled with his keys, clearly uncomfortable with the subject matter.

"Edward?" I clarified.

"Yeah. That one," he nodded.

"That was a long time ago Dad," I reassured him.

"Alright." He nodded. "Be back in a little while."

"Get me a coke?" I called after him.

"Sure," he said before closing the door behind him.

A few moments later, I heard Charlie's tires cutting across the gravel driveway, signaling his departure.

I sprang from the couch, making my way hastily towards the kitchen.

There were two notes scribbled onto the message pad next to the phone, just as Charlie had indicated. One in Jake's sloppy scrawl, one in a familiar elegant cursive.

I read Jake's note first.

Call me. It's Important. Jake.

I wasn't expecting anything detailed or flowery from Jake, but I was a tad baffled by his need to write out a note when he could have just passed the message onto Charlie. It really wasn't his style.

I hesitated before picking up the other note. Was I ready to deal with the repercussions of reading her note? Curiosity eventually won out and I allowed my gaze to travel across the hand-written words.

Bella, I wanted to try this again. I know I do not deserve it, but please call me. I miss you. Alice Cullen.

She had written her number just below her impeccable signature.

 _That's it?_ I thought to myself.

I was surprised by the lack of emotion I felt this time. Maybe it was because I was not as surprised to hear from her as I was the last time. Maybe I just needed time to wrap my head around the idea of Alice contacting me after so many years. Alice could be just another person that I may eventually come into contact with. She could be an old acquaintance, like Mike Newton, who I would smile politely at while making small talk about menial things. I could handle Alice Cullen if push came to shove. It was a satisfying revelation.

I tossed the message pad back on the counter and picked up the phone to call Jacob.

"Hello?" Billy answered the phone.

"Hey, Billy. It's Bella. Is Jake there?" I asked.

"Hey, Bella. Jake is out patrolling. I'll have him call you when he gets back," he said.

"Patrolling for what?" My brow furrowed.

"We weren't sure if you already knew, if that's why you left," Billy paused."...but a couple of the Cullen's have returned," Billy explained.

There was a slight moment of panic when I briefly considered the idea of Edward returning. Alice I could deal with. Edward, on the other hand, I would need a much longer trip with copious amounts of alcohol to deal with. Then my common sense came rearing back. Of course Alice wasn't alone. Jasper would have come with her, they were mates after all. They very rarely left each other's sides.

"Just the two?" I asked.

"As far as we know, yeah," he said.

"I doubt they will be any trouble Billy." I tried to assure him.

"Better safe than sorry, Bella," he said.

"Sure." I answered, my mind wandered to the reservation. I was imaging a pack of gigantic werewolves circling the La Push border, trying to protect themselves from a non existent threat.

"Jake can't protect you or Charlie in Forks Bella; that's Cullen territory," Billy warned.

"We'll be fine Billy, the Cullens are harmless and I highly doubt they plan to stay for long." I tried to placate him.

"Just be careful Bella," Billy sighed.

"You too, Billy. Tell Jake I called."

"Sure thing. Take care, Bella."

"I will." I hung up the phone.

If Alice wanted to talk to me, she knew where to find me. I wasn't going to play into her hand. With my mind made up, I went upstairs to take a much needed shower.

After showering and changing into a comfortable pair of leggings and a tank top, I made my way to the kitchen. Charlie had already returned with the pizza and my much anticipated coke.

"Sue invited us out for dinner tomorrow, if your interested." Charlie looked everywhere but at me.

"Really?" I smiled.

"Yeah, um, it's nothing fancy or anything… just a get-together. There will be kids around your age there, as well," he mumbled.

"Sounds fun. Count me in." I did my best to not make it anymore awkward for Charlie. I knew it was already hard enough for him talk about Sue with me.

"Great! I'll let Sue know." he smiled before taking a bite of his pizza.

"Should we bring anything? I can make something, a side dish or a dessert?" I wondered out loud.

"I don't know. If you want to Bells, I don't see what it could hurt."

"I can make a pie or something." I shrugged.

"Sounds good," he grunted out.

"What time are we headed out, so I know when to be ready?"

"Four," was his chatty response.

"Gee Dad! Stop talking my ear off!" I quipped sarcastically.

"Sorry, It's just… I don't want you to feel obligated to go or anything," he explained.

"I don't feel any obligation. I really do want to go. I would like to get to know Sue. She seems to make you happy and that's all that matters to me." I smiled.

Charlie cleared his throat nervously.

"Thanks. That, uh, it means a lot to me." He looked away bashfully.

We sat in silence throughout the rest of our meal.

After dinner, I sat on the couch in the living room. Charlie watched television while I wrote out a grocery list. I decided I would make a pecan pie, Charlies favorite, to take to dinner at Sue's. I briefly wondered if Sue was using this dinner as a ploy to get Charlie on the reservation while the Cullen's were in town. Regardless, I was happy that Charlie was finally beginning to acknowledge his and Sue's relationship.

I relaxed on the couch for a while, enjoying Charlies silent company, before deciding to go to bed. I made my way sleepily up the stairs, almost tripping over the last stair. There was a sliver of light casting it's way along the floor outside my bedroom door.

 _That's strange_. I thought.

I didn't remember leaving my bedroom light on.


	11. Chapter 12

**AN: Sorry this took SO long everyone. I was off having a few adventures of my own and am just now getting a chance to get back to this story. Holiday time is coming so I am hoping to get the chance to get this story fully posted in the next few months while I have some down time. Thanks for sticking around. I have several chapters of this already written out, I just need to get them typed up and proofed and then I will be posting up a storm. Promise.**

Forks, Washington

-November 16th-

 **Alice**

"She slept with wolves without fear, for the wolves knew

a lion was among them."

I ran out of projects to keep me busy on our second day in Forks. The house had been cleaned meticulously, the furniture covers removed, the drapery laundered and rehung. Edward had cut back the overgrown foliage that blocked the driveway and landscaped as far back as the river. Bella still had not returned. We were both becoming increasingly anxious. I was beginning to question my decision to leave that message on the answering machine. I knew it would buy me a few days, time to get settled and keep Edward from barging into Bella's life and ruining everything. I wasn't counting on her staying away for so long though.

The wolves made their appearance on our second evening in the house. Jacob Black was by far the most hostile towards us. Apparently he and Bella had grown close during our absence. We were reminded of the treaty line by Sam, the leader of the group. Jacob requested that we leave the area, to which Edward not-so-kindly told him to go to hell. The pack retreated back to the reservation, but not before warning us that they would be keeping an eye on us. Jasper was nervous about the wolves presence; he was already making plans to join us the following week. I had debated not telling him about the wolf pack at all, but Edward had helpfully filled Emmett in before I had a chance to work damage control.

As three days passed, I became less and less confident in my grand plan. She wasn't supposed to be gone for this long. Edward had taken to stalking Charlie when he could, trying to read his mind to garner any clues to Bella and her whereabouts. This led to several fits of irrational anger and childish outbursts from Edward. I had officially become a glorified babysitter. Edward was never fully able to read Charlie, even before we had left Forks. I gathered that he had been able to pick enough information out of Charlie's mind to have a basic understanding of not only where Bella was, but with _whom_ she was most likely spending her time. Needless to say, Edward became increasingly difficult to placate with each passing day.

On the fourth day, I decided to make my presence known to Charlie. I arrived at the house later in the evening. Charlie answered the door, his face showing his complete surprise at seeing me on his doorstep. He kindly invited me inside the house and even offered me a beverage.

"No, thank you." I replied

"Is Bella expecting you?" Charlie asked.

"No. I'm in town for the holidays. I was hoping to catch up with Bella while I'm here," I explained.

He nodded in understanding.

"Bella doesn't really stay still for long. She's off on a trip to Oregon right now. Should be back by Thanksgiving." He opened a can of beer.

"I see. Is there any way I could leave her a message?" I asked.

He hesitated at first, but then reached for a notepad next to the phone.

"Sure. Is it just you in town then?" he asked.

"For now," I lied

"Is the rest of your family planning on visiting as well?" He handed me a pen.

I wrote my note quickly, jotting my phone number at the bottom.

"Most of us, yeah. I came early to get the house ready." I continued to fabricate my story.

"I see," he grunted.

"Yeah, Esme really hates California; she just couldn't imagine spending another Christmas down there." I handed him the notepad.

"Is your brother going to be coming as well?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Edward? I think so." I shrugged nonchalantly.

"Bella is happy. Doesn't need any trouble," Charlie gruffed.

"I know. We don't want to cause any trouble Charlie. We all care about Bella." I smiled sadly. "Edward was heart broken when Carlisle told him we were moving again."

"That's why he dumped my daughter?" he snipped.

"I think Edward thought he was doing Bella a favor, I know it sounds incredibly stupid, but he believed she would be better off if they had a clean break." I shook my head sadly.

"That is stupid, Charlie agreed.

"Yes, well I think Edward was just afraid of holding Bella back, trying to stay in a long distance relationship in high school isn't exactly practical." I continued.

"I see." Charlie appeared to be mulling over this new information.

"Well, I still have to swing by the store." I made my way towards the door, I was satisfied with the seeds I had planted. Charlie could come to his own conclusion from here.

"I'll make sure Bella gets your message." Charlie opened the door for me.

"Thanks Chief. It was nice seeing you again." I gave him my best smile.

"You too Alice. Hope to see you around." He nodded once.

I turned to make my way down the small walkway.  
"Oh and Alice?" Charlie called out once I was almost to my car.

"Yes, chief?" I called back.

"You can let Edward know that he'll have his work cut out for him." He gave me a knowing smile.

"Oh, we are all counting on that." I grinned back.

"Good," he grunted before closing the door.

I was still celebrating my small victory over Charlie when I arrived home. This incensed Edward even more.

"Why didn't you tell me you were planning on visiting him?" he demanded.

"It was a last minute decision." I shrugged.

"Right. That's why you keep blocking me from your thoughts." He rolled his eyes.

"Look, I saved your ass with Charlie. The least you could do is thank me," I huffed out.

"You didn't save my ass. He still doesn't like me." Edward argued.

"Yes, but he never really did. She's his daughter. It's unavoidable." I explained.

"When is she going to return?" Edward asked for the hundredth time.

"I can't see that. I have already told you. She hasn't decided yet." I groaned in frustration.

"I'm going," he huffed.

"No. You will not be going anywhere. You don't even know what part of Oregon she is in." I made myself comfortable on the sofa.

"Alice, I found her trail. I could easily track that scent from a hundred miles away. You know that." He began pacing in front of me.

"You found her trail?" I sat forward. I stupidly hadn't considered the possibility.

"Her scent is all over the region Alice. She's left trails from Seattle to La Push. I practically smelled her the second we stepped off the plane!" He ran his hands through his hair in exasperation.

"I know it must be difficult-" I began to placate him again.

"Difficult?" he cut me off. "Difficult doesn't even begin to cover it!" He raised his voice. "Imagine if Jasper were not only your mate, but human as well. Even if I try to ignore the pull to find her, the bloodlust alone is enough to drive me insane."

"Her blood still appeals to you?" I questioned.

"You have no idea," he groaned.

"I'm sorry Edward. I didn't even factor that in. You've always been so good at hiding it, I forgot it even mattered anymore."

"I have that part of me under control Alice, but it's always going to be there. Always." He sat next to me on the sofa.

"You can't go after her Edward. I'm sorry." I shook my head.

"I know. Why do you think I'm still here?" He leaned his head back, resting it against the sofa.

"We have to respect her boundaries. Let her choose to talk to us, not the other way around," I explained.

"Yes. I am aware of this Alice," he sighed.

"Then why is your scent all over Charlie's house?" I challenged.

He slowly turned his head towards me.

"I was curious… her house is infested with the smell of dog," he spat.

"Ah, yes, I hadn't anticipated the wolves." I nodded.

"They are dangerous. She shouldn't be around them," he huffed.

"It's not your place to tell Bella how to live her life, though," I argued.

"I know that, Alice." He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Why don't you go hunt?" I suggested.

"Already did, three times to be exact." He gave me a pointed look.

"Sorry," I whispered.

"It's not your fault. I know you're trying to help. I'm sorry I am so irritable. The waiting is wearing on me," he explained.

"Jasper will be here in a few days. He can help." I patted his shoulder softly.

"Right. He's going to help." He gave me a disbelieving look.

"He will. Now that your thinking clearly, we can all help you."

"Alice, no offense, but Jasper uses his ability for evil more than he does good." He chuckled darkly.

"Your one to talk!" I tossed a pillow lightly at his head.

"How could I use my ability for evil? I read minds. I don't have the ability to manipulate anything," he defended.

"Sometimes I wonder," I muttered.

"What?" He turned towards me.

"Nothing." I shrugged.

"You think I am really that manipulative?" he questioned.

"I think you have a very unfair advantage of knowing how the mind works and you also know people's vulnerabilities because of your ability. I think you use that knowledge to get your way." I narrowed my eyes at him.

He smirked.

"You know me too well."

"Yes, I do," I quipped. "I also know you are going back to her house tonight even though I have warned you against it." I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket. It was becoming more difficult to be away from Jasper. We had taken to texting and video calling several times a day.

"I have to. You realize that don't you?" He gave me a serious look.

"No, you don't." I shook my head.

"Alice, you do realize what he is doing? That _dog_? He's marking his territory. He thinks of Bella as _his_ territory. I cannot allow that," he growled.

"Really?" I asked.

"He patrols the woods outside of her house every night."

"So let me get this straight… you are purposely going to Bella's house at night to prove a point to a volatile werewolf?"

"Precisely." He grinned.

"Don't be a child Edward," I scoffed.

"I'm not being a child. Quite the opposite. I think that boy doesn't understand the dynamic here. He really does believe he has a say in the matter. He hasn't even considered how incredibly easy it would be for me to find Bella and sink my teeth into her right now, if that were my intention." He paused and I could see him swallow back a mouthful of venom. "I would give it an hour tops if I left now." He smirked.

A brief vision flashed before my eyes. Edward sinking his teeth into Bella's throat.

"You've absolutely lost your mind." I shook my head in disbelief.

"What?" he questioned.

"You just made a joke about biting Bella. You never joke about biting Bella." I pointed out.

"I wasn't joking," he said calmly.

"Edward! You wouldn't," I gasped.

"I would," he disagreed. "I would rather face her wrath for an eternity than let that dog anywhere near her," he spat out.

"That is incredibly selfish," I accused.

"That filthy mongrel should stop pushing the matter then," he hissed.

"Bella isn't even interested in him like that, she's wouldn't be with…"

"Shut up!" Edward rose from the sofa.

"I can't even say his name can I?" I laughed lightly.

"I'm warning you Alice," Edward growled out.

I smiled in satisfaction. This time the vision was much clearer, almost life-like.

"Okay." I nodded, dropping the subject.

"You're evil." Edward accused.

"Yes, I can be when needed." I began typing a text message to Jasper.

"You saw it clearly that time," he murmured.

"Yes, It appears that your temper tantrums come with at least one positive side effect." I smiled in satisfaction.

"Do you think I could stop?" He almost whispered the question.

I paused from my texting. Edward had never been willing to discuss the matter of Bella being changed before.

"Do _you_ think you could stop?" I asked.

"I don't know." He swallowed thickly.

"You know I can't _see_ if that is possible or not. You could change your mind at any point and decide not to stop…"

"Yes, I know. That is why I am asking your opinion. Not for you to _see_ if I could," he explained.

"If you want my opinion, then yes. I think you would. You already have proven that much. You stopped yourself last time, when James bit her."

"I lose control when I am around her, though. That was different. My thoughts were different at the time. She was hurting and in pain," he explained.

"Lose control how?" I asked.

"I don't think clearly," he groaned.

"You mean you think like a man?" I smirked.

"Be serious, Alice," he pleaded.

"I am being serious. That's what your not understanding, Edward. You need to just let go and allow yourself to feel and think that way. That's what love is all about. It makes you irrational and jealous and happy and carefree and so many other things. It makes you do things that are out of character sometimes. It's like that for everyone, but especially our kind. Instead of fighting it every step of the way, you need to embrace it." I tried to get through to him.

He pondered my words for several moments, allowing me to get a few text messages through to Jasper. Esme and Carlisle were making plans to come to Forks. Carlisle had to give sufficient notice to the hospital where he worked, meaning it could be some time before they could make it to Washington. Rose and Emmett were planning on making their way to us after they stopped over in Alaska to visit the Denali coven. The entire family was slowly coming together. I smiled at the idea.

"So jealousy… that sucks." Edward laughed lightly.

"Depends on how you handle it." I gave him a meaningful look.

"Are you saying I'm just supposed to pretend to be alright with all of this?" He motioned to nothing in particular. "I can't do that. Even the thought of…" he trailed off.

"That's more than understandable Edward. I'm saying that you need to be careful because Bella isn't going to take kindly to you staking some nonexistent claim on her." I huffed,frustration again with his lack of understanding.

"Nonexistent?" he growled.

"I know you don't want to hear it, but yeah, it kind of is at this point in time. You forfeited that right when you left. It will only push her away if you take that kind of route. I don't have to be psychic to know that much."

"How do you know then?" he asked.

"I'm a woman," I deadpanned.

"I see. How would you prefer someone in my position to address this situation then?" he questioned me.

"Your over-analyzing again. It's not something I can give you a pre-packaged answer to." I looked at him in disbelief. I knew he lacked relationship experience, but he was a mind reader. Didn't he know how women thought?

"I just don't know how _Bella_ thinks!" he answered my unspoken question.

"Her thoughts on the matter are more than likely similar to most women," I quipped.

"Most women enjoy getting a reaction out of their love interest. Especially jealousy, from what I've heard," he said.

I took a moment to think about what he had said.

"Yes, It can be fun, I suppose. But that's only if you're genuinely interested in that person and if they show it in a way that isn't entirely demeaning to the woman," I explained. "For instance, Jasper and I have a stable relationship. We trust each other entirely and we know we belong to one another. He also allows me to be my own person and make my own choices and he doesn't constantly try to tell me what to do. So when he gets jealous, it usually leads to a very hot session of sex in the middle of the woods somewhere. Now, if all the other factors in our relationship were not present, I would be offended by him acting as if he had some kind of right to claim me or get jealous of my potential suitors. Especially if he was my ex-boyfriend who broke up with me. I would be quite offended, actually."

"I didn't _break up_ with her! You know it's not like that!" Edward defended.

"Semantics. You get what I'm saying."

"So what the hell am I supposed to do here?" He threw his hands up in exasperation.

"Edward, how do most men act in this situation?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, a man likes a woman, finds her attractive and is interested in being romantic with her. What does he do?" I motioned for him to answer.

"You're saying I should woo her?" He gave me an incredulous look.

"Slightly outdated term, but yes, that is what I am saying." I snorted

"I never even did that when we first met. We kind of just…" he trailed off.

"Exactly. Maybe that's part of the problem. Mates are different, I understand, but you never really did take the time to win Bella over, it just happened because of the mating phenomenon of our kind," I explained.

"Maybe you're right. Except the issue of her other… _suitors_." He sneered the word.

"Get over it. She has other men interested in her. A lot of women do." I rolled my eyes.

"Yes. But she is interested in _him_ as well, from what I have seen." He choked the words out. It looked like it physically pained him to say it.

"So what? Make her more interested in you than she is in him. Problem solved." I smiled.

"Well, gee Alice, I never would have thought of that. Thank you so much for solving _all_ of my problems," he drawled.

"It's not going to be easy, I'm not saying that." I returned to my texting.

"I'm headed out." He stood from his spot.

"Stay out of trouble, Edward," I warned.

"Of course. I always do." He smirked.

"Men," I muttered lowly.

The next evening, we had decided to take an extended hunting trip. Edward had been hunting more frequently and we didn't want to risk upsetting the local wildlife population due to Edward's increased appetite.

We had decided to go to one of Edward's favorite hunting spots, Cougar Rock. The area was aptly named, as it had a larger than average population of cougars, something Edward was more than willing to fix. After several drained animals were responsibly disposed of, we decided to make our way towards the creek to clean up.

"Can't you smell that?" Edward had asked when we were almost to the creek.

"Smell what?" I asked.

"Her. _Bella_. It's diluted, but I can still smell it." He paused.

I took a moment to really breath in the air around me. I couldn't smell any trace of Bella. I was beginning to seriously fear for Edwards' well-being.

"I'm not crazy, Alice!" he spat out.

"I can't smell her at all." I shook my head slowly.

"I think I'm more sensitive to her smell, not just because she is my mate, but because she smells so good to me," he pondered out loud.

"If you say so," I muttered.

"Or maybe because I am so hyper-aware of everything to do with her, it's like a part of me is always tuned into finding her?" He turned to me, a questioning look on his face.

"We could ask Carlisle. I don't know how that works, to be honest." I shrugged.

"I'm telling you she was here." He looked around the area slowly.

"It's likely at any rate. You said so yourself that she has been all over the place." I continued to walk in the direction of the creek.

"Yes, but it's winter, there's still snowfall on the ground and you know as well as I do that mountain lions are prevalent in the area," he said.

"Your point?"

"Why would she be out here? It's dangerous," he huffed out.

"Here we go again." I rolled my eyes.

"Does she have a death wish?" he continued.

"Edward, she is fully capable of trekking this kind of terrain. Humans do it all the time." I laughed lightly.

"But Bella is so tiny" Edward whispered lowly.

"I'm tiny. I can still kick your ass," I deadpanned.

"You're not human…" he reached down to grab a handful of snow and molded it into a perfect ball.

"What are you doing?" I began to retreat from him slowly.

"Come on, Alice. You said you could kick my ass." He laughed, knowing my dislike for getting snow in my hair.

"Don't you dare!" I narrowed my eyes at him.

He was too fast for me. I saw the vision a split second before the snowball pelted me squarely in the face.

"You asshole!" I growled.

He laughed hysterically, his head thrown back. "The look on your face was worth it!"

I narrowed my eyes before hastily lobbing several of my own frozen weapons towards him. He dodged most of them easily, feigning from side to side as I continued to make my way towards him.

"Bring it, Alice." He gave me a cocky smirk.

"You're cheating. If you couldn't read my mind right now it would be a fair fight!" I pouted.

"Okay, _Emmett_ ," he scoffed.

I smiled victoriously as a particular thought came to my mind.

"Right!" Edward laughed, running his hand through his hair.

"She would be magnificent, you have to admit it." I smiled.

"I know." He almost looked frightened.

"A formidable opponent. I can't wait to watch you eat dirt for once," I snorted.

"I love you, too, Alice." he smirked.

"I'm just saying. You need someone to keep your broody ass in line." I wiped my hands off on my jeans.

"Let's get to the creek. We should be able to make it back to Forks by dawn." He began walking with purpose again.

We had barely made it into the outside of Forks when we were accosted by a single wolf. Jacob.

"What do you want _dog_?" I sneered. He was blocking the path that lead directly to our house.

"He's going to change form. He wants us to wait here." Edward translated for me.

"Why?" I asked, Jacob had already backed away into the forest.

"He wants to talk to us." Edward rolled his eyes.

"About?" I pushed.

"I don't know Alice!" Edward was getting annoyed. "He's fairly proficient at blocking me when he wants to." He pinched the bridge of his nose.

Jacob came back after a moment, this time in human form.

"Cullen." He sneered his greeting towards Edward.

" _Dog_ ," Edward hiss.

"We would greatly appreciate it if you would give us a warning before any more of your family members arrive. We have several young wolves who are unable to control themselves sometimes." Jacob said.

"What are talking about?" I said.

"We crossed their trail yesterday afternoon. They stopped to visit Bella before she returned last night." Jacob continued.

"Bella came back?" I asked.

"Yes. I have been patrolling her property on most nights, but when we caught the new scent we were all forced back to the reservation." he narrowed his eyes.

"We don't have any other family members in town yet, Jacob." Edward shook his head.

"Well whoever they were, they knew where Bella lived and they were in her room. We just assumed they were another one of your lot." Jacob shrugged.

"Let me get this straight, there is an unknown vampire in the area who has been in Bella's bedroom in the middle of broad daylight and you decided to run back to the reservation?" Edward growled.

"It's alpha orders, _Cullen_! I have to protect the tribe first." Jacob began to shake.

"Some guard dog you are!" Edward sneered.

"I could say the same for you _bloodsuckers_. Where were you?" Jacob stepped closer to Edward.

"Sucking the blood out of furry animals." Edward rushed forward swiftly, leaving only an inch of space between himself and Jacob.

"Watch yourself, _dog,_ before I make a meal out of _you_." Edward smiled falsely, making a point to bare his teeth.

Jacob stepped back several paces. "Ugh." he wrinkled his nose. "I don't know what she ever saw in you." He grimaced in disgust.

"Maybe you could ask her." Edward smirked. "When your not busy stalking her property, that is." He narrowed his eyes.

"Says the _corpse_ who climbs into her bedroom window every night," Jacob retorted.

"There's a difference. I've been _invited_ into Bella's bedroom on several occasions," Edward taunted.

Jacob's face twisted into another grimace. "I doubt you're still invited." Jacob shook his head.

"That's for Bella to say, not you," I interjected.

"I'll be sure to ask for her opinion. Tonight. When she's on _my_ territory." Even though he was responding to me, his eyes never left Edward.

"Like fuck she will be!" Edward took a step towards Jacob again. I rushed to put myself between the both of them.

"Not now, Edward." I placed my hands on his shoulders. "We have other issues to worry about." I reminded him.

"Bella and Charlie will be safe on the reservation." Jacob said.

"Look, Fido, we are perfectly capable of protecting our own. We don't need _your_ help." Edward pushed against me, trying to move closer to Jacob.

"Knock it off, Edward." I hissed into his ear.

"Your own? Bella isn't one of _you_. She doesn't belong with your kind." Jacob spat.

Edward suddenly stopped fighting me. Instead he took a small step backwards. I eyed him suspiciously as he moved into a more relaxed position. He tilted his head slightly, as if he were listening to something off in the distance. I narrowed my eyes slightly, trying to figure out the sudden change in his demeanor.

"You don't know _anything_ about me Jacob Black." Edward spoke quietly.

"I know you're a coward. You left her once already." Jacob crossed his arms defiantly.

"That's true." Edward nodded. "I've also learned a very valuable lesson in doing so."

"Right. I bet you thought she would just cower down and cry about you for months on end," Jacob scoffed.

"I had _hoped_ she wouldn't." Edward continued to slowly edge his way backwards, closer to the tree line.

"Well your wish was granted, bloodsucker. Why'd you come back now? She's perfectly fine without you in her life."

"That's none of your business."

"Fair enough. She doesn't want anything to do with you, anyway." Jacob shrugged.

"People change, Jacob." Edward took another step back.

"Last I checked you weren't a _person_." Jacob sneared.

"No, but Bella is." Edward smirked.

"You wouldn't dare…" I watched as the color drained from Jacob's face.

"Like I said, you don't know anything about me." Edward turned towards the tree line.

"Edward…" I tried to warn, but he had already made up his mind.

"Sorry Alice." He threw me an apologetic look before he disappeared into the forest.

"Aren't you going to go after him." Jacob glared at me.

"What for?" I shrugged, not wanting to let the dog see me as anything other than calm and collected.

"Edward would never let anything bad happen to Bella." I turned on my heel. "Besides, Edward is unusually fast. I don't even have a chance of catching up to him." I threw a smug smile over my shoulder.

I would thoroughly admonish Edward once we were alone, but I wasn't going to let the dog see even an ounce of my concern for the situation at hand. It would do no good to show them our soft spots.

"We'll be seeing you around Cullen." Jacob screamed after me.

"Looking forward to it, dog." I mumbled before setting off at a fast pace.


	12. Chapter 13

**AN: I tried my best to edit this before posting. So enjoy….mistakes and all.**

 **Forks, Washington**

 **-November 17th-**

" **I am no longer afraid of monsters,**

 **because I once loved one.**

 **-Emina Gaspar-Vrana**

 **Bella**

"Bella!" Charlie called up the stairs again. I blew a strand of loose hair out of face in exasperation. My room was a disaster, I had rummaged through my very meager clothing collection and was still unable to find my favorite hoodie.

"Hold on." I called down the stairs.

 _It has to be here somewhere._ I thought to myself. I dropped down to my knees to look under my bed for what had to be the third time. I was running out of places to look and was getting more frustrated with each passing second.

 _It's not like it got up and walked away._ I lowered my comforter back down after realizing it was beyond irrational to look under the bed again. There was nothing under there, I knew that.

"Damnit!" I huffed out.

"Come on Bella, I'm gonna' be late! What are you doing up there anyways?" Charlie grumped.

"I can't find my hoodie." I braced my hand against the wooden floor to give myself a boost up. Instead of meeting a solid surface like I had anticipated, the floor board gave way and lifted up slightly on one side.

"I'll be in the cruiser. I'm leaving in Five." Charlie warned before I heard the faint sound of the front door clicking shut.

I lifted the board up entirely and peered down into a fairly large opening in the floor. There were things inside of that hole. Things I know I didn't place in there. Things that I thought were gone forever. My heart betrayed me in an instant, thrumming its way up into my throat with the realization.

 _He hid them here._ Nobody else would have had a reason to.

I gingerly pulled the photographs and CD out of the hole, still not sure if I wanted to risk looking at them. My mind began asking the questions I had actively been avoiding. I knew someone had been in my room last night. I never left the light on, and even though I couldn't find a single thing out of place, my gut instinct told me someone had been in there.

Someone who had plenty of practice sneaking into that very room.

I hadn't allowed myself to believe it. Why would he after all this time? How did Alice tie into all of this? It wasn't a coincidence that this was happening now, after all this time. I knew that much.

More importantly, what made him think he had the right to come into my damn house without my permission? I could feel my hands shake around the fragile photos I had yet to look at. The pent up resentment that I had not even known existed came boiling out of me with each passing second. The more I considered all of the possible intrusions into my space, my life, and my privacy, the harder it was for me to remain calm.

 _Who the fuck did Edward Cullen think he was?_

Charlie honked the cruisers horn three times, signaling the end of his patience with me and my lost sweater.

"I'm coming!" I screamed out even though I knew he wouldn't be able to hear me. It felt good to scream. I threw the photos and the CD on top of my bed and hastily made my way towards the stairs. I would go to this dinner with Charlie, because I owed it to him. Edward Cullen would have to wait a little longer to face my fury.

I slammed the cruiser door shut in frustration. "Buckle up." Charlie reminded me in a fatherly tone.

I rolled my eyes to myself, but buckled up anyways. This entire day was turning out to be a shit show and I was wondering if I should have even bothered to get out of bed today. I folded my arms in front of me and focused my attention out of the window.

"You don't have any other sweaters?" Charlie broke the silence after a few moments.

"I liked that sweater." I explained.

"I'm sure it will pop up somewhere. Those things usually do." Charlie tried to placate me.

"Your right. I'm just having a crap day is all." I unfolded my arms.

"I couldn't tell." his mustache twitched slightly. "You've been so chipper."

"Har Har." I punched his shoulder lightly. "I'm just frustrated. I found that hoodie in Baja and it was the only cold weather item I held onto throughout all of South and Central America." I whined.

"It will show up. Don't let it ruin your entire day. I'll tell you what, when we get back home I'll even help you look for it." he offered.

"Thanks Dad, I don't think it's in the house though." I frowned.

"Where else would it be?" he gave me a confused look.

"Good question." I muttered.

Charlie left me to stew in my own private thoughts for the rest of the ride to LA Push. I was grateful for the silence. It gave me an opportunity to try to gather my nerves and not let my foul mood ruin the first real dinner I had been invited to at Sue's house. This was a monumental milestone for Charlie and I wasn't about to let it be ruined over something so petty.

"Hey Bella." Jake pulled me into a sweltering hug as I entered the house.

"Hi Jake" I mumbled into his chest.

"What are you doing here?" I questioned.

Charlie cleared his throat from behind me and Jake hastily released me. "Came to get you. Or were you planning on hanging around here with the adults?" Jake asked after I had dropped of my pecan pie in the kitchen.

"Well, yeah I wanted to get to talk to Sue…" I began to explain.

"Go ahead with the kids Bella. It's gonna be a while yet anyways. Have fun." Sue smiled warmly at me from her place in front of the stove.

"Are you sure? I don't mind helping." I tucked my hair nervously behind my ear.

"No. It's fine. Really. Go on and have some fun." She nodded her head towards the door.

"O..kay." I gave Charlie a meaningful look.

"It's your choice Bell. Your an adult now. I can't stop you." Charlie shrugged.

"Alright." I nodded. "I'll remember that." I laughed.

"Hey! You may be an adult, but I am still the chief of police, you just remember that." Charlie peered down his nose at me.

"Yeah but isn't this place like...out of your jurisdiction?" I sassed back.

"Get outta here!" he laughed before lightly tossing a dish towel in my face.

"Fine." I threw the towel back at him. "Call me when you're ready for me." I smiled at Sue before leaving the kitchen.

I found myself sitting on First Beach an hour later with a group of Jacobs friends. They had a fairly decent sized bonfire going and Embry was generous with the beer. I had zoned off into my own thoughts when I was interrupted by Paul sitting down next to me.

"So Bella. You have a thing for necrophilia huh?" Paul said casually.

I almost spat my mouthful of beer out. "Excuse me!" I sputtered after choking the liquid down.

"Shut up Paul." Jacob threw a beer cap at Paul's head.

"What?" Paul shot me a questioning look. "Didn't you and Cullen have a thing?"

"I said shut up!" Jacob raised his voice.

"I see. So Jacob ran his mouth to everyone then?" I shot an icy glare towards the traitor.

"Trust us, we would have been able to figure it out anyways." Leah drawled out from across the fire.

"Look, I haven't had the chance to talk to you yet Bella…" Jacob stood from his spot on the ground in front of me.

"Like it's going to make any difference." Paul rolled his eyes.

"Shut up Paul!" several voices rang out around the campfire at once.

"No." I stood from my spot on a large piece of driftwood. "Go on Paul, I'm interested in knowing exactly what it is that your alluding to." I shot Jacob a nasty look.

"Bella…" Jacob took a step towards me.

"No Jake. I think I want to hear this." I crossed my arms in defiance.

"Bella, it's not like that and you know it. The pack shares things with each other, even when we don't want you. " Jacob reached out to touch my shoulder.

"Don't touch me." I spat, taking a step back from him.

"Figures." Paul scoffed.

"Paul I am warning you…." Jacob began.

"She smells just like him!" Paul pointed his finger at me.

"She may as well be one of them herself." I heard Leah scoff.

"Wait." I barely managed to whisper. "He's…" I trailed off.

"He's back." Jacob nodded in affirmation.

"You saw him." I stated.

"Yeah." Jake rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"You saw him and you never even bothered to say anything to me." I raised my voice higher. "You were supposed to be my friend Jacob!" I screamed.

"I am." Jacob pleaded. "Bella I am your friend, but the pack comes first. The pack always has to come first. It's alphas order's." He attempted to reach out for me again.

"Don't touch me." I shook my head.

"Let me guess, you're just going to run back to that leach." he threw his arms up in exasperation.

"Screw you Jacob!" I was seething. "It's none of your business who I spend my time with." I turned to stomp my way up the beach.

"Bella wait!" Jacob called after me.

"Leave me alone Jacob." I called over my shoulder.

"You can't go back to Forks yet Bella, it isn't safe." Jacob caught up to me quickly.

"The Cullens would never…" I began to defend.

"Not the Cullens. There was someone else in your room last night." He cut me off.

I froze in my tracks.

 _Someone who wasn't one of the Cullens?_

"You mean…" I breathed out. "It wasn't him in there last night?"

"You knew someone was in there?" Jacob squinted.

"My light was on and my sweater is missing." I explained.

"You think someone took your sweater?" Jake looked confused.

"What else could have happened to it?" I shrugged.

Jake stared at me like I had lost my mind.

"I mean, I don't know what use they would have for it or why they would…"

"To track you." Jacob breathed out.

"What?"

"That's why someone would take it. To track you. To have your scent to give to others." Jacob looked terrified.

"But...why would someone want to track me?" I asked.

"That's a question you will have to ask your precious Cullens." he grumbled.

"Fine." I continued to walk up the path to the parking lot.

"Bella, where are you going?" he continued to follow after me.

"Look Jake, if I wanted a dog to follow me around I would buy one." I sneered.

"Ouch Bella, that hurt." he stopped in his tracks.

"Good. Stay the hell out of my way." I continued my brisk pace towards Sue's house.

As soon as I reached the front porch of Sue's house I remembered my circumstances. I couldn't just storm out and miss dinner with Sue. That would crush Charlie.

 _Damnit!_ I plopped down on the wooden step with a deep sigh.

 _What the hell was I going to do?_ My life was spiraling out of control and once again the mythical creatures in my life had everything to do with it.

 _Why now?_ I asked myself, not for the first time. The timing just seemed too perfect. I had barely been home for a month.

"Alice." I said out loud. She was involved somehow and I needed to figure out exactly what was going on. Edward Cullen aside, I couldn't let Charlie stay at the house with strange vampires stopping by uninvited.

I never considered another vampire being in my room. I had been so quick to assume that it was Edward, I never even thought there would be another possibility.

I heard footsteps crunching up the gravel driveway and glanced up. Jake was slowly making his way towards the house with his hands tucked into his pockets. He looked positively miserable. I felt like a complete bitch.

"I'm sorry Jake." I apologized for my snotty comment. "I never should have said the thing about you being a dog…" I continued.

"No don't worry about it. I deserved it. I should have been honest from the beginning but to be honest…" he trailed off.

"What?" I prodded him along after several seconds of silence.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to go running back to him." he sighed.

"That's ridiculous." I laughed. "I would never. Not after the way.." I trailed off.

"I thought that if I got to you before he did...that I could...I don't know. Change your mind?" he scoffed.

"Change my mind about what Jake?"

"Bella, I have feelings for you. More than just friendly feelings." he whispered. "I want you to choose me. Don't choose him." he leaned down and grabbed my hand. I stared up into his large brown eyes in shock. I knew Jake had a friendly crush when we were younger, he was always a little too eager to spend time with me. Charlie would tease me about it relentlessly. I had no idea his feelings were as deep as he was claiming they were.

"Jake." I shook my head sadly, not wanting to hurt one of my closest friends.

"I know." he snatched his hand back. "I just had to at least try, you know?" he sat down next to me and began playing with the hem of his jean shorts.

"I'm not interested in that with you, because I'm not interested in that with anyone Jake." I tried to explain.

"Not even _him_?" he turned to look at me.

"That's a moot point isn't it?" I looked away. "Your grounded here Jake. You have a community here that loves and needs you to stay. Family, friends...the pack." I motioned to the beach, where I assumed most of the pack were still at.

"So?" he shrugged.

"I'm not that person. I can't just settle down into this type of a life." I explained.

"You never know until you try." he shrugged.

"Jake, I don't want to try. I'm happy the way I am." I hardened my voice.

We sat in silence for several moments, both of us lost in our own thoughts.

"Hey Jake," I said after a moment.

"Yeah." he turned towards me.

"What did Paul and Leah mean when they said I smelled like him?" I questioned.

"He must have touched something your wearing or…." Jake looked away.

"What?" I prodded.

"Your bed. Maybe he was on your bed and you slept there and that's why it's so concentrated." he explained.

"Is it really that strong?" I leaned down to sniff at my shoulder. I couldn't smell anything.

"I could smell you from the second you crossed the treaty line." he pretended to gag.

"Thats…"

"Gross." Jake stated.

"I was going to say strange." I playfully shoved him.

"No, it's gross. He had to have done it on purpose. Don't you see what he's doing Bella? He's marking his territory." his eye's hardened.

"I really hate that you say it like that Jake. I don't belong to anyone. I am not a piece of property or a tree for you guy's to pee on." I snorted.

"Tell it to that bloodsucker." he muttered.

"I will. Don't worry." I whispered to myself.

"Bella you can't be serious…" he began to argue. I bristled, but the argument was thankfully cut off by Sue opening the door with a smile on her face.

"Hey Bella. Charlie was just getting ready to call Billy's house for you."

"Look at that, turns out I'm psychic." I tried to put a believable smile on my face. There was no reason to ruin this night for Charlie.

"Jake, you and Billy are welcome to join us…" Sue began.

"Oh thanks' Sue, but I think it's best if we don't." Jake stood up from his spot on the steps. "I'll catch up with you later Bella." he said before taking off down the driveway.

"Boys." Sue shook her head indulgently.

"Boys." I rolled my eyes in agreeance before following her into the house.

Dinner went well. I got the chance to really get to know Sue. She was a kind and gracious person who really seemed to care about Charlie. I was happy to see that Charlie had found someone to spend his time with, someone who understood him and loved him for who he was. It made me feel better about leaving him alone so much. He would have someone to look after him and make sure he ate more than red meat and Vitamin R. We ended the evening on a good note, with Sue offering to show me how to dehydrate fruits and vegetables. I had noticed a rather large pantry of dried goods in her kitchen and she had explained the process. I was intrigued.

"I would love to learn. That would come in handy for when I'm traveling around. Dehydrated stuff is so much lighter to pack around." I smiled at her.

"Wonderful. We will have to set a date then." she smiled back.

I used the drive back to Forks to process the overload of information that my mind had been subjected to. I was still seething with anger, but trying to rein it in for long enough to not let Charlie see how upset I was. The last thing I needed was him prodding around and asking questions.

I must have stared at the keys in my hand for at least a full fifteen minutes before I finally had the guts to place them into the ignition of my truck.

 _Just get it over with Bella._ I thought to myself.

I twisted the key and waited for the engine to turn over.

Nothing.

I groaned out loud. _This is what you get for not being able to make up your mind about going out to their house_.

Now the universe was going to work against me. I tried to start the truck a few more times with no success before I gave up entirely.

It was just after Seven at night. I could easily hike my way to the Cullen residence in a little over three hours. I could ask Charlie to let me use the cruiser, but that wasn't exactly allowed. He would offer to give me a ride instead and then I would have to explain far more than I was ready to explain. It's not like I could even lie and have him drop me off somewhere close by. The Cullens lived well off the beaten path, far away from anyone else.

I didn't really feel like being out in the woods with the knowledge that a random vampire had been inside of my house, so hiking was probably not the best idea. I was running out of options.

 _You know what you need to do._

It was something I didn't want to do, but I was beginning to see it was my only viable option.

 _Damnit! Damn Alice Cullen all to hell!_ I huffed, as I reached for the cordless phone.

She answered on the first ring.

"Bella?" her voice was just as musical as I remembered it being.

"Hello Alice. I would like a ride to your house." I tried to keep my voice smooth and formal.

"I can arrange that." Alice readily agreed.

"Would tomorrow morning be sufficient?" she kept her voice calm and collected. "No. I was thinking more like tonight...right now...actually." I replied.

"Oh. Well, that may not be the best idea right now Bella. Edward isn't even here right now anyways. He went out for a hunt." I couldn't believe she was still trying to tell me what to do.

"No, Alice. That isn't how this works. We either do this on my terms or we don't do this at all. Do I make myself clear?" I gripped the phone a bit tighter.

"I'm sorry Bella, I so badly want to explain and have this conversation but I can't _see_ anything right now. It's the wolves, they block my vision." she complained.

"Screw your visions Alice." I snarled.

"Bella, I know your upset, but…" she began.

"Fine. Don't worry about it Alice I'll figure it out myself." I hung up the phone without giving her a chance to finish her lame excuse.

Charlie was upstairs taking a shower. I needed to use this time to get out of dodge without having to answer too many questions. I quickly wrote him a note and placed it on his side table next to his lazy boy and then grabbed a small backpack with only the essentials to get me by. I was going to do this on my terms even if it killed me.

I made sure to dress warmly, the sun was already starting to set and the evenings could get quite chilly this time of year.

I heard the shower turn off as I was swinging my coat over my shoulders. I waited until I was deeper into the woods behind Charlies before I rolled out my map and pointed my flashlight towards it. The Cullen residence was almost Fifteen miles away. I wanted to avoid the deep forrest and stick closer to the major highway that led out towards their property. Once I had a basic idea of what route I was going to take I folded my map up and set off into the woods.

The evening air was brisk and moist. The smell of earth and moss hung heavy in the air around me. I could barely make out my surroundings without using the flashlight to maneuver my way around heavy vegetation and rotted tree trunks.

After an hour of walking at a steady pace I began to notice my visibility became clearer. The moon was reflecting more light down onto the open area I was maneuvering. I realized I must be getting closer to the highway, where the trees were significantly more spread out, allowing me to see at least ten feet ahead of me. I walked further until I found a small clearing that had enough room for me to work with. It was time for me to set my plan into motion.

"It's now or never Bella." I whispered to myself.

It took me a while to get the fire going, as most of the kindling and twigs I was able to gather were fairly damp, but once I got it going I was able to build it up to a fairly decent size. I sat by the fireside for several moments, giving myself an opportunity to back out. I had to re-stoke the fire again before I got up the nerve to continue on to the next step. I knew the next part was going to be hard to time. The timing needed to be perfect.

I attached my carabiner to the rope with shaking hands, still unsure of my decision, but unable to see another way of proving my point.

"Belay on." I whispered to myself as I snapped the carabiner to my chest harness and took a deep breath. I tested my footing against the tree bark before placing all of my weight against the large pine tree.

"Climb on." I said the familiar words, keeping myself on track and in the right mind set. Climbing alone was highly frowned upon and I knew I was taking a huge risk being out here in the middle of the night with no belay partner.

 _All good. You got this Bella._ I told myself after the first few feet.

I used the rope to slowly maneuver my way up the tree using the rope as a pulley of sorts. It took me almost an hour of slowly climbing to reach the top of the Sixty foot tall pine tree.

"This better work, it's going to be a bitch to get down if it doesn't." I groaned in relief once I managed to unhook the harness and catch my breath. My arm muscles were burning from the constant strain I had placed on them and my hands were numb from the cold. But I had made it to the top.

I found a comfortable groove in the tree branch to rest while I caught my breath. Even up this far in the tree, I could still smell the smoke from my campfire below. I took deep breaths to steady my heartbeat and calm my nerves. The next part was going to be the hardest.

I pulled the small silver pocket knife out of my side pocket and opened it carefully before taking a deep breath. After stealing my nerves, I slowly slid the sharp blade across my left palm with enough pressure to break the skin and cause blood to rush to surface and seep out at an alarmingly fast rate.

 _Whoops. Maybe a tad bit too deep_. I realized. Instead of panicking, I cupped my wounded hand and allowed it to fill up with enough blood to satisfy my purpose.

"Come and get it." I whispered as I turned my hand over and allowed the blood to trickle down to the forest floor beneath me. Once I was satisfied with the amount of blood that had been spilled, I settled back into my comfortable tree branch and waited for my prey to arrive.

It didn't take long.


	13. Chapter 14

LONGEST A/N **EVER** :

Here we go. You will mostly be hearing from Edward or Bella's perspective from here on out, and the timelines have now crossed and aligned... so I will no longer be posting the date, unless there is a significant time jump. We have not gotten into the heart of this story. I want to say thank you to everyone from the reviews, the messages, the ideas and the support. You guys are the reason I kept writing, so thank you for the motivation. I know this version of Bella is not everyone's cup of tea, my ideas are a bit more twisted than the original. This is my own take on the Twilight universe. I like my characters to be a bit flawed. I am sorry if that was not the type of story you were hoping this was going to be. I can't write those types of characters, even though I personally have read several stories that have been written exactly like that and I have loved them tremendously. It's just not my strong point. I have tried to use my basic understanding of human psychology (Travel Nurse Practitioner here) to help readers understand what motivates these characters, and why they are not all as cleancut and "wholesome" as the original series. I also don't want them to be entirely horrendous people who have no redeeming qualities…. this isn't Wuthering Heights after all ;) ….. So I promise that I will not completely ruin the "good" qualities and let their "bad" one's take over, but I am also going to delve a little deeper into the darker side of them while still keeping the humorous and lighthearted side as well. It is my belief that all people are multifaceted and have many different character traits. It could be that I am just incredibly blessed to know a lot of amazing, vibrant people who have experienced the good and the bad and still manage to wake up everyday and have a hunger for joy, friendship and adventure. This is a going to be a slow burn still. I am not just going to dump them together and call it a day. I want to really develop these characters and their relationships…anyways...I am going to end my ramble and get on with the story.I hope you enjoy the much awaited….reunion?... Kinda? Let me know what you guys think, it helps with the writing process.

 **Forks, Washington**

"Part those sheets like holy waters,

And I will worship your skin like a born again believer.

-Tyler Knott Gregson

 **Edward**

I pushed away the dead carcass with apathy. The constant urge to feed was getting tedious. I had spent the past few years trying to remain numb, disconnected from everything else. In a way it made things so much easier to just...exist. If I were to be entirely honest with myself, this would be much easier if I continued pretending to feel nothing in order to maintain the small amount of control I had over the circumstances. It would be easier. Not better. I would still be existing only to exist. There would still be no purpose to anything. I understood that much now. I understood that to have purpose meant to feel all of these things, even the bad. I was beginning to realize the error of my own ways. Emmett was right. I was a late bloomer.

My cell phone rang the moment I entered an area with cell phone reception.

I knew it was her without looking at the screen. "Alice."

"Brother." she replied.

"What is it now? Have we also discovered a coven of witches residing in the Port Angeles area?" I snarked.

"No, no witches as of yet, just Bella." she sang out in a strangely cheerful voice.

I came to a sudden stop.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I don't know exactly, I can't see anything unless I leave the area. The wolves are patrolling closer to the house and they mess with my site somehow." she explained.

"So then leave the area. Meet me up North." I suggested.

"How far North are you?" she asked.

"I don't know. Sixty miles out of Forks maybe." I shrugged my shoulders. "Just follow my trail Alice." I felt like I was suddenly talking to a child.

"Sorry. No can do." she replied.

"Alice…"

"Jazz is on his way here. I would rather stick around until he shows up." she cut me off.

"Right." I rolled my eyes in exasperation. The two of them couldn't even go an hour without talking.

"What about Bella?" I asked.

"Oh, right. " she exclaimed. "I _think_ we will be hearing from her soon."

She was clearly up to something. I wasn't in the mood to play her games at the moment. She had been actively blocking my thoughts for the past Eighteen hours, something she only did when she was up to her usual meddling.

"Interesting." I pursed my lips.

"Oh and Edward?"

"Yes Alice?" I sighed.

"Come in towards the West side of town."

"Why-" the line disconnected.

I shoved my phone back into my pocket before changing course slightly. Alice had to have had a good reason for telling me to enter town from the West. Perhaps there were hunters in the area, or cross country skiers. I debated ignoring her travel advice altogether just to spite her. I had grown increasingly frustrated over the past several days and Alice seemed to think this was all a game.

In the end, curiosity won out and I ended up changing direction, exactly as she had suggested.

It didn't take me long to figure out the real reason behind her request. The tantalizing smell hit me like a brick wall the moment I crossed the Sol Duc River. I had to use every part of my self control to come to a complete stop and analyze the situation. I could call Alice and ask her to come instead. I had a feeling that Alice already has a pretty good idea about what I was going to find though, and she had set it up perfectly. If Alice didn't seem worried, then she must have some insight she wasn't willing to share will me. She knew enough to tell me what direction to come in at. She knew enough to not try to stop was when I realized she was playing games with me from the very beginning. She had never expected me to truly stay away from Bella. I couldn't believe she was willing to go this far. This was crossing a line, even for Alice. Bella was out there, possibly very injured and bleeding and she has ensured I would be in her direct path.

I trusted Alice enough to believe that she wouldn't have sent me into this situation if she saw a negative outcome.

Right?

I stood rooted to my spot for several moments, acclimating myself to the potency of what could only be _her_ freshly spilled blood.

I could do this, I would _have_ to learn how to do this if I wanted any kind of a future with Bella at all. Bracing myself, I took a deep breath and allowed her scent to pull me closer. Initially, I started off at a slow jog, and then slowly worked my way up to a full speed run. I ran for several minutes before I heard the faint sounds of a beating heart. It was a sound I was familiar with. A rhythm I had memorized long ago. I had played the melody over and over again in my head throughout the last several years. Even so, hearing it in person almost took me to my knees. As _the_ apex predators, my kind could usually decipher a lot about a human being from their human reactions. Their emotions, well being, even their state of mind could be gauged by their heartbeat alone.

Bella was alone and injured in the middle of the woods, yet her heartbeat was slow and steady. She was not in any sort of distress, nor was she breathing heavy.

 _How paciliar_. I thought.

I finally reached a small clearing that had a decent sized campfire smoldering in the middle of it. The flames had mostly gone out, but the coal's burned brightly; helping to illuminate the entire clearing with an orange was no sign of Bella anywhere. I could hear her and smell her and sense her, but I couldn't _see_ her. It was only after several moments of rationalizing that I finally came to the conclusion there was only one place she could be.

Up.

 _But how?_ I questioned. I followed her scent to the bottom of a rather tall pine tree, and then I stood there for a moment, contemplating my next move.

"You going to stand down there all night? I have places to be." her voice was clear and steady.

She had been expecting me, I realized.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, I was unaware we had made plans to meet up." I smirked into the darkness.

"You didn't receive your invitation?" her tone was unusually sweet, as if she was attempting to be cordial. As if she had to pretend to be interested in having anything to do with me at all.

"Are you referring to your little blood sacrifice?" I tried to not sound reprimanding, but I was unsuccessful.

"What's the matter Edward? I thought you would like it." she chuckled.

"Not particularly." I frowned.

"Is it the quality or the _quantity_ of my blood that you object to." she questioned.

I swallowed back the venom that came rushing into my mouth. "The quantity mostly. I see no need for unnecessary and dramatic antics. You could have attracted a very different kind of monster here this evening." I chastised.

"That's true. I will admit... I had to consider the risks before deciding the proper course of action. Don't be too upset though Edward. This means I placed odds on _you_ after all."

she was so very different than I remembered. Calm, detached, almost as if she were negotiating a business deal instead of bartering with her very life.

"So what you are telling me is that you have a death wish." I sank my fingernails deep into the tree bark, attempting to remain calm.

She laughed loudly. "Oh Edward. Now who's being dramatic?"

"I see. You think this is a joke then, is that it?" I said through gritted teeth.

She didn't respond.

"You think I couldn't reach you in less than a second and sink my teeth into your neck until all that was left of you was a cold lifeless corpse? You think I haven't envisioned doing exactly _that_ at least a hundred times, _fantasized_ about it, actually?" I paused for a moment to listen to her heartbeat.

Calm, steady. Not even the slightest fluctuation. I frowned. "There hasn't been a single day since Phoenix that I haven't replayed what your blood tasted like over and over again in my head." I admitted one of my deepest secrets.

"Well damn Edward, all you had to do was ask." she laughed humorlessly.

"You think this is a game Bella?" I snapped.

"Come off of your high horse Edward. I get it. You are the big bad vampire with the big sharp teeth and I am the fragile human spun from glass. I never thought for a second that you were lying about your capabilities. I know what you _could_ do. I'm only disagreeing on what you _would_ do." she drawled out.

"I see." I pursed my lips thoughtfully. "So I am your friendly neighborhood vampire?" I joked.

"Not exactly. Spider-Man is far more dangerous." she scoffed.

I didn't give myself time to think before I began to scale the tree silently. I was sick of this calm and unaffected behavior of hers. I wanted the Bella I knew, not this false front she was putting on now.

"Let's talk about boundaries while we are out here." she said after a few moments of silence.

I chose to remain quiet, not wanting to give away my location in the tree. She remained quiet while I made my way silently to a large branch that reached out several feet behind her and straddled it with very little effort.

"Boundaries are an important social skill to have." she continued on after a moment. I watched as she carefully glanced towards the ground, searching for any sign of movement. She tilted her head slightly, listening for something.

"Edward?" She questioned.

I remained silent.

I watched her body language intently, smiling to myself as her breathing picked up slightly and her heartbeat stuttered momentarily before continuing on at a slightly faster pace.

 _There it is._ I thought to myself.

Not wanting to startle her too badly, I leaned forward carefully.

"I'm not particularly fond of boundaries, Bella." I whispered into her ear.

"Shit!" she flinched violently, exactly how I had anticipated. I reached out and carefully grabbed onto her waist with both hands to prevent her from losing her balance and falling to the forest floor below.

Her heart was now thundering against her chest at a riotous pace. The steady thumping vibrated through my fingertips and made my mouth fill with even more venom. I was going to have to hunt again soon. Still, underneath the constant thumping was the familiar electrical hum that had always existed between us.

"Ugh!" she swatted my hands away after a brief moment.

"Sorry." I lifted my hands off of her body and held them up near my face in surrender.

"Again, with the boundaries." she angled herself more towards me so that we could finally face each other.

She was even more beautiful than I could remember. Her cheeks were more defined and angular than they used to be and her lips appeared slightly fuller and poutier. Her skin had a healthy amount of color to it, a sign of her proclivity for spending time outdoors.

I shifted awkwardly and looked away before she could realize I was gaping at her like an idiot.

"How'd you get up here?" I asked.

"Same way you did... and don't change the subject. It isn't going to work." she began to fidget with a small silver object in her hand.

"You climbed?" I glanced down at the forest floor below. The fall would be more than enough to kill any human.

"I know you were in my bedroom." she said after a moment.

"Yeah...about that-" I nervously began peeling bark from the branch I was perched on.

"There will be no more of you doing whatever the hell you want." she cut me off.

"Bella, I-"

"No. I'm telling you now." she interrupted again. "Do not come into my personal space or intrude in my personal life or my personal privacy without my permission. I don't care who or _what_ you are. I don't care if you are God himself You have no right!" she explained.

"I'm sorry. In my defense I didn't realize you were _such_ a private person." I defended.

"Excuse you?" she narrowed her eyes.

"Just saying. The entire world could go on the internet and see your ass right now." I shrugged nonchalantly. I knew it would upset her, but I couldn't help myself. The words practically fell out of my mouth.

She blinked several times before finally responding.

"You mean my bikini? I forgot how prudish you could be." she chortled.

"I'm not a prude. I just believe in leaving a little to the imagination." My eyes involuntarily roamed her body from head to toe as I spoke the words.

"For you Edward, I'm more than willing to leave more than a little to the imagination." she shot back.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you shouldn't be too concerned. I'm not particularly interested in stripping down for you." she moved to a rising position.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"This was a bad idea.I'm leaving." she said calmly.

"At least let me walk you home. I suppose the dog filled you in on everything?" I scowled.

"Jacob? Yeah, that's a bit of an understatement." she muttered sarcastically.

"Ah. I see." I nodded my head in understanding. "Poor Jacob. Unrequited love can be so complicated." I feigned sympathy .

"You would know." she drawled.

"Not really." I attempted to hold her gaze. Instead, she looked anywhere but at my face.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you meant that, and I will leave now and never come back." I spoke quietly.

"Didn't you kind of already make that promise? And then break _it_ too?" she finally made eye contact with me.

I visibly flinched.

"Did I strike a nerve there?" Bella looked down at the harness she had attached to her chest and began fastening several clasps.

"I deserved that." I conceded.

"You deserve that and much more, asshole." she spat out.

"Bella, I didn't mean the things I said that day in the woods." she had turned her back to me again and was busy tying a rope of some sort to her harness.

"I...can we please start over. This isn't how I wanted to do this at all." I tried to reason with her.

She turned to face me again, an incredulous expression on her face. "Well guess what Edward? It isn't about what _you_ want. Or what _Alice_ wants or what _Jacob_ wants." she spoke softly.

"I know that, I wasn't…" I began.

"I have a life. You know? A really _good_ life." her voice began to rise with word. "You thought you and Alice could just waltz back into my life and everything would go back to the way it was?" she scoffed. "You thought I was going to let _you_ call the shots. You may have psychic mind reading abilities on your side, but I am _not_ that girl anymore. I learned how to live without you." she pointed to herself.

I kept quiet for several moments, giving her a chance to calm down.

"I haven't." I admitted. "I tried to. I fought like hell to stay away from you. I wanted you to have a human life Bella, I really did." I exhaled heavily.

"But...I _can't_ live without you. I'm not too noble to realize that now. I _need_ you. I can't exist in this world without you. I was never meant to. Even before I met you...something was always missing." I explained. "You feel it too. I know you do. Your just..your so much stronger than I am." I admitted.

"I don't know what your talking about." she squared her shoulders.

I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. "Alright then." I quickly stood up, balancing myself on the branch with perfect poise.

"What are you doing?" she glanced down towards my feet.

"I'm assuming you plan on using that…" I motioned to her rope and harness. "...to get down from this tree?"

"No. I planned on jumping." she deadpanned.

"Excellent." I smiled lavisciously.

"What are-" her eyes widened as I approached her.

"Come with me?" I held my hand out to her.

"Why should I?" her voice shook.

"Because your cold and the climb down is going to be less than pleasant." I raised an eyebrow in challenge.

The corner of her mouth turned up slightly. "Fine. Only because I have no plan to become the next Julia Butterfly." she reached for my outstretched hand.

I held her hand while she carefully maneuvered her way along the tree branches until she was close enough that I could feel her body heat radiating off of her.

"Turn around." I lifted her hand above her head so she could twist her body around.

Once her back was steady against my chest, I hesitantly let go of her hand. She slowly dropped her arm, letting it hang loosely at her side. Her breathing deepened and became far too heavy for someone in her physical shape, I observed. Slowly, I leaned into her backside, widening my stance to allow her body to align perfectly with mine. We both exhaled heavily at the change in contact. Our bodies aligned perfectly. Her warm breath created a small cloud of vapor in the air, reminding me of the need to get her out of the frigid outdoors. I brought my arm up and across the top of her shoulders, only allowing my hand the slightest of pressure as I ghosted it along the back of her neck before gently sweeping her hair off to one shoulder, exposing her ear to me. Her heart rate shot up, suddenly galapping at a much faster pace.

I gulped down another mouthful of venom. I was millimeters away from her carotid artery and I could practically feel the blood pulsing beneath her skin. I struggled to keep the part of me that wanted to sink his teeth into that soft pale flesh at bay, instead I switched to focusing on the curves of her body against mine. My lips curved up into a smile as I brushed my hands lightly down her arms until they reached her hips.

"I'm going to hold onto you." I gripped her hips lightly. "Here." I whispered into her ear.

She shivered lightly against my body, nodding once in silent affirmation.

"Are you ready?" I asked, slowly walking us backwards towards the edge of the tree branch we were perched on.

"Yes." her voice shook.

"Do you trust me?" I flexed my fingertips lightly against her hips.

"With my life? Yes." her hands clamped down over mine.

"Good." I touched my lips softly against her neck before taking the final step backwards.

"Hold on tight." I whispered, before pushing off of the branch at an angle, giving us plenty of room to avoid the branches directly below us.

"Oh god!" she screamed as we fell backwards toward the ground.

The fall itself lasted for less than two seconds before my feet made contact with the ground. The impact was miniscule, even for a human, yet I stayed silent while she caught her breath.

"Do you you feel that?" I whispered after several moments of silence between us. The forest barely acknowledged our existence.

"The adrenaline." I released her hips, and instead moved my hands along the feminine curves of her torso. "That moment of free fall where the entire world stops and it's only that moment that exists? All of your senses are attuned to one thing only, the imminent impact of you meeting the ground below. Your heart races, your breathing accelerates. You feel euphoric, carefree, alive." I paused, gently brushing my thumb against the underside of her breast. She let out a small gasp in response.

"That is how you make me feel, Bella." I took two steps back, breaking our contact.

"Now... tell me you don't feel the same." I said, still facing her back.

She slowly turned to face me. A sad smile on her face.

"I forgot how good you were at sweet talking me." she laughed.

"It's the truth." I corrected her.

"This is your reasoning?" she used her hand to motion between the two of us. "So what? I'm sexually attracted to you. I'm a Twenty-One year old girl. Your moderately attractive. It's not that hard to believe." she shrugged nonchalantly.

"Moderately?" I quirked my brow. "So you react that way to any man you find attractive?" I almost choked on the words.

"Of course." she lied.

"Liar." I smirked.

"Don't be so sure of yourself." she shot me a dirty look.

"I'm sure of _us_ , Bella." I shook my head.

"Sure enough that you left!" she scoffed. "Sure enough that you refused to change me!" she swung her backpack across her back.

"I'm sorry for what I did. It was the biggest mistake of my existence . I never should have left. I never should have doubted what we have." I followed after her now retreating form.

"What's so different now?" she paused her stride.

"What's to say you don't turn around and do the same thing the next time I fall down and scrape my knee or decide to go cliff jumping." she flailed her arms out dramatically. "Tell me what guarantee I have that your not going to leave the second you think it's what is best for me!" she motioned for me to answer.

"What would it take for you to believe that I would never make the same mistake again?" I asked. "I'll give you anything you you ask for." I spoke calmly.

She stared silently at my face for several moments before finally looking towards the ground. I watched as she swept a small rock out of her way with the tip of her boot.

"Damnit." she threw her head back. "I can't do this tonight." she shook her head sadly.

"That's understandable." I conceded. "May I at least walk you home? I am not the only monster in town, after all." I smiled tightly.

"About that." she squinted into the darkened forest. "Do you have any idea who they were and why they would want my sweatshirt?" she asked.

If I still had a heart it would have stopped beating. "They took your sweatshirt?" I questioned.

"Yeah. My favorite one too." she crossed her arms in front of her.

"So it was an item you wore often." I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Well yeah, I suppose." she shrugged.

"Someone wanted your scent."

"Why?" she asked.

"That... I don't know. I was in your room. I didn't recognize the scent." I tried to explain.

"So it's someone you've never met?" she continued walking.

"Exactly."

"How can you tell?"

"Tell what?"

"How can you tell by someone's scent." she elaborated.

"Why do you ask?" I narrowed my eyes suspiciously.

"Jacob said I smelled like…" she trailed off.

I smirked. "Like me?"

"So you did it on purpose then?" she rolled her eyes.

"It's hard to explain." I shook my head. "It's not...a human behavior." I looked away.

"So explain it then." she shrugged.

"I'll make you a deal. If you let me get you out of this forest and into a warm house, I will answer any questions you have." I stopped walking.

"Anything?" she repeated.

"Anything." I nodded.

"Fine, but I would rather avoid Charlie's house, I think he's had his fill guy's showing up-" she abruptly stopped talking.

There was an awkward silence. I clenched my hands into fists.

"My house is free." I said after I had a moment to control my reaction.

"Okay." she nodded.

"What are the chances I am going to be able to talk you into letting me take you?" I asked

"...it's at least a few more hours hike if we go at a human pace." I explained.

"Fine" she agreed. "Just this once." she conceded.

"Hop on." I turned so my back was facing her. I leaned down so she could reach me easier.

"Great." she muttered. "This isn't embarrassing or demeaning at all." she loosely wrapped her arms around my neck.

I stood up once she was safely situated on my back. I heard her breath stutter when I wrapped my hands around her lower thighs to bring her legs further around my waist, hitching her up higher onto my back.

"It's up to you. Although, I personally would not prefer to die from hypothermia." I quipped.

"I've hiked in much colder climates for much longer." her warm breath hit my neck and sent an electric charge throughout my entire body.

"I know. I came across your trails. You've been busy." I set a pace that was fast, but not so fast it would disorient the human on my back.

"I like to explore." she explained.

"Where all have you been" I asked.

"I haven't gone as far north as I want. The snow pack is too heavy this year." she leaned her cheek against my neck without thinking and then lifted it almost instantly.

"I could take you." I offered.

"I'm actually planning a trip up to in the Spring."

"Almost there." I informed her. We were approaching the backside of the house. "What are you going to Rainier for?" I inquired.

I couldn't hear a single thought, meaning Alice and Jasper were gone. This only affirmed my suspicion that the little brat knew more than she was letting on during her phone call with me earlier.

"I don't know, just something I haven't done yet." she shrugged.

I came to a stop once we were on the back porch.

"You can let me down here."

I crouched down so she could safely slide off of my back.

"Alice isn't here." I said, motioning to the back sliding door that led into the kitchen.

"That's...convenient." Bella quirked an eyebrow.

"I know. I'm starting to feel like-"

"Like you've been played?" she laughed. "Yeah. Some things never change."

"I can't believe I didn't realize it. She has gotten remarkably good at blocking me." I tapped my temple.

"Never bet against Alice." Bella smiled.

I opened the sliding glass door and motioned for Bella to enter "After you." I said.

"Thanks." she said, as she stepped into the kitchen.

"Speaking of betting...what did you mean when you said you placed odds on _me_ finding you?"

She laughed. "It's obvious isn't it? I assumed you would find me first."

"Why is that?"

"I don't know." she twisted her hands together nervously. "I figured since I smelled so much better to you than most humans…"

"That I would be able to smell you better." I finished.

"Yeah. Is that how it works?" she questioned.

"Kinda." I nodded.

"That's not an answer." she used her arms to lift her body onto the kitchen countertop, placing both hands on either side of her hips once she was comfortably seated. I was suddenly intrigued by her jean covered legs, which she gently swung back and forth. I had the sudden urge to wrap wrap them tightly around my hips.

I heard a throat clear and looked up. "Sorry." I quickly looked away from her. "Can I get you some tea or something?" I cleared my throat, an unnecessary action.

She smirked. "Yes please."

I moved around the kitchen, pulling out a tea kettle and filling it from the sink before placing it on the stove to heat up.

"You said you would answer my questions." she accused.

"Right." I nodded. " I'm sorry. I was thinking of the best way to explain it."

"Okay." she motioned for me to continue.

"I can pick up on your scent easier and from a greater distance than the others. Alice, for instance, couldn't pick up on most of your older trails."

"But _you_ could." she tilted her head.

"Right." I nodded.

"I don't know how much of my sensitivity has to do with my... _preference_ for your blood and how much of it has to do with…" I trailed off.

"With what?" she prodded.

"It's a mating thing. We tend to have a heightened awareness of our mate at all times." I explained.

"But we…" she wrinkled her brow in confusion. "We've never…"

I shook my head. "It's more than that. It's a type of connection that exists even without the physical aspects."

"I couldn't see you." she whispered.

"What?" I stepped closer to her.

"Tonight. When you were down on the ground. I couldn't see anything. The fire had died down and there wasn't enough light. Something just...told me you were down there." she shrugged.

"I also knew someone had been in my room. I couldn't figure out how I knew, but I did. It was like a gut instinct you know?"

"Yeah, I know." I was openly staring at her now.

"What?" she gave me a questioning look.

"Is that the only time you've noticed something like that?" I pried.

"Well…" she paused for a moment. "No."

I nodded in understanding. "What else have you noticed."

"Um." I watched her cheeks darken with blush and wished for the millionth time that I could read her mind. My feet moved me closer to her without my permission. "What else?" I said quietly.

"This." she motioned to the foot of space I had left between us. "The weird magnetic pull. The buzzing." she licked her lips.

"You can feel that?" I tilted my head slightly.

"Yes. It's like...sexual tension to the tenth degree." she leaned her body forward slightly.

Unable to stop them, my eyes traveled from her lips down to the rise and fall of her chest. The predator in me wanted one thing while the man wanted something else entirely.

 _Was she torturing me on purpose?_ No sooner had the thought crossed my mind when Bella chose that moment to open her legs slightly wider.

"I never realized." I snapped my gaze back up to her face.

"What? That I had needs too?" she raised one brow.

I shook my head. "Your human. I always assumed you wouldn't be affected the same way." I stepped forward hesitantly, gauging her reaction to my sudden intrusion into her personal space.

She reacted by lightly squeezing my hips with her thighs.

"I'm affected." she whispered.

I stopped breathing entirely.

"Do you feel that Edward?" she reached up to wrap her hand around the back of my neck, pulling my face closer to hers. I let her pull me in willingly.

She wrapped both of her legs around me, pulling me closer. I had never been so adverse to jeans in my entire existence. My hands moved to her hips, holding her steady against my now prominent manhood. Her fingers dug into the hair at the nape of neck as she ghosted her lips across my neck at a painfully slow pace.

"The adrenaline." she whispered into my ear. I groaned, pulling her forward so that her ass was barely touching the counter anymore. She gently rolled her hips against mine, causing me to buck forward into her.

"Ugh." she moaned quietly. "That moment of extreme pleasure where the entire world stops and it's only that moment that exists?" she laughed.

I froze.

"All of your senses are attuned to one thing only." she smirked.

I let out a gust of air and tried to step back, but her legs were locked around me in a vice grip.

"Your heart races, your breathing accelerates. You feel euphoric, carefree, alive" she said with over-dramatic flair. She was an actress reading her lines.

I smacked my hands down onto the countertop next to her angrily, creating a small fissure in the granite rock.

She didn't even have the decency to flinch.

"That's how _he_ made me feel." she delivered the final blow without even blinking.


End file.
